Addiction Recovery :: Alcohol Detox? Vodka


Aug 8, 2014

I am a 67 year old male who had previously been drinking a fifth of straight Vodka for years and went 3 times to a clinic to detox.

I quit for many years but due to personal Family problems I started drinking heavily again about 3 months or so ago. (3- 1/2 pints of Vodka a day)
18 days ago I started self in home detox and am SLOWLY but surely beginning to feel better but not at all up to par.

I can't sleep at night and still feel woozy and unsteady on my feet! Somewhat dis oriented as well!

At the beginning of my Detox I had dark colored urine which indicated blood but a R/x of Amoxicillin seemed to take care of that and my urine is now the color its supposed to be.

I, for a few days had black stool but it has since gone away and is back to normal (?) color.

I drink about 5 bottles of water a day and sleep (or try to sleep? with a cold washrag on my head during the day and at night.

My question I guess is this:

I am on day 18 now and still feel as I described as above.

I have read for hours on the NET regarding as to how long these feelings will last and I can't find a definitive answer. Most have said that the feelings will pass after two weeks but could take 3 weeks or longer! Can someone please verify?

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I tend to see alcohol,drugs, bulimia as addiction. I have done all of them. Unfortunately alcohol for me is the least controllable one of all of them. I have been an addict for 40 years now. I started out as bulimic, drink started to cause problems when I was around 30.

I've been to A.A. I've done the 12 step program but I recently had a bad relapse.Only one day. It is helpful.

A.A has helped me I know I am an alcoholic.but I didn't like the idea of people phoning me every other day and I don't like the idea of sponsors - it's true they have had alcohol experiences that I understand too but I don't like telling someone I don't know about my life experiences as In Step 4 . No one there is an expert. Their analysis may be wrong.Even though it is meant in the best way possible.

I have a lot of other issues at the moment the worst being poverty, legal issues and relationship problems. A.A can help with some things and not other but none of these.These things were not caused by alcohol. Partly by addiction.some socioeconomic.

It's a very good organisation and helps many people but only 5% stay clean. It's fine if you are prepared to do all the meetings believe 100% in the program. It's just A.A can't help me with the burning issues just now.

I've done therapy which has helped with a lot of things but a lot of the therapy stuff I learned goes against A.A teachings. Therapy is about creating a life for yourself. A.A is about being dependent on A.A forever. I don't like that. Maybe I haven't hit my "rock bottom" yet and I'm not desperate enough.

Having said this A.A does absolute wonders for some. So it's definitely worth a try.

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So the idea of dropping two units daily did not go well. Within one week I came full circle. Got down to 10 units and couldn't bear the withdrawal. Stayed at that for a few days before increasing once again. My alcohol worker stated that this was a test, to see if I was able to reduce on my own, which I clearly am not at this present time.

Now I have a home detox booked for two weeks time. Still clueless on who will be my support over the first three days as all my friends have young children and family members aren't real an option due to their locality and jobs. The plan is to start Antabuse after the detox, I'm done telling them how I feel about Antabuse.

Feeling hopeful, excited at the prospect of being alcohol free, whilst very fearful and grieving at the upcoming loss of my best friend and reliant. 

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I drank heavily last Monday, and then didn't drink again until Friday night. I was very anxious, had some episodes of the shakes, and I was in a pretty bad fog. My head hurt and I was thirsty all day, I couldn't get enough water. I couldn't think, I just didn't feel right. I caved in and drank a six pack Friday night, and then yesterday was my birthday so it was just a waterfall of booze. I don't know how much I drank, but it was a lot. 

I feel terrible at the moment, partly due to the nasty hangover. I'm feeling very stressed out and anxious. The shakes are starting to creep in, along with the fog. The realization that this has become a problem is giving me a lot of anxiety, I have moments where I feel like I'm just going to break down and have a panic attack. I can't believe I let myself go like this. 

Anyways, given the amount of alcohol that I have been consuming, should I be concerned about DT's or seizures? I made it around 90 hours with seemingly mild withdrawal symptoms, considering. No one knows that I drink like this, I'm a closet alcoholic. I'm afraid to tell anyone, because I don't want them to know that I've sunk this low. I don't want anyone worrying about me, which is why I've come here. 

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Addiction Recovery :: Day One - Suboxone

So I made the big plunge yesterday and went through with something I'd been tossing around in my head the last couple months. I went to a clinic and got a prescription for Suboxone.

Since I'm a school teacher, one of my biggest worries was actually walking into a Suboxone clinic and someone recognizing me. It would come as quite a shock to some (in my mind) to see Mr. B____, the local English teacher, lined up to get a prescription for his opiate addiction. Just goes to show that addiction doesn't pick and choose whom it affects. But I overcame my ridiculous fears and went on in today.

There are actually two clinics in the small city where I live (at least nearby). One clinic as open on Saturday, looked to be a nicer looking facility, but they don't take insurance. It would have cost $500 for the first visit, without even considering the cost of the drug itself. So I went with other clinic that did take my insurance, and I was only out 35 dollars (My prescription copay was to be $40 for the name brand strips, but the clinic gave me a discount card that took care of my copay, which was a pleasant surprise...this wasn't a one time deal...it will cover my copay each time I get the med). Being a teacher with a wife and three kids...every dollar helps for me. For those interested, the card will help those who are either pay in cash or use have insurance other than Medicare. The card pays up to $50.

The clinic is only open two hours (two days a week), so I was a little curious how they handled so many patients in so little time. The answer came to me as I was shuffled through the clinic cattle at a sale barn. Though there was a thick stack of papers to sign, some of which asked detailed questions about my addiction and health history, I got the feeling I was getting a product wrapped up and sold for the masses, not for me as an individual. It is sad for me to think of those who don't have the ability to educate themselves on what it is they are taking. Even I, after months of research on the internet, am still confused on quite a few contradictory opinions and ideals regarding Suboxone.

The clinic is located in a less than desirable part of town, and the waiting room did not exactly make one feel comfortable. It was hot, and everyone in there looked pretty miserable. I was comforted, though, by the fact that there were no familiar faces. It also gave me comfort knowing that we were all there for the same reason, and none of us had anything to hide. I could go into more detail about this experience, but I have jabbered too much already.

Long story short, I peed in a cup, the results of which I was not told. I knew coming into the clinic that there was no dispensing medication at the clinic, so there was no worry for me to stay clean for 24-48 hours. I took 40mg of hydrocodone at 7:00 the night before, so I wasn't completely miserable at the time of the appointment.

Strangely, my vitals or any other normal "clinic" methods were practiced. I went straight from peeing in a cup to talking to the doctor who was sitting behind this big beaten up wooden desk in a stale smelling office. The doctor thumbed through my file and asked basic questions about how much I was using and where I was getting it. I was in and out of his office in less than 5 minutes.

I didn't lie about my drug use, and I was prepared to share much more. I pretty much told him that I got hooked on opiate painkillers after multiple operations that required them. Also, I have had two DVT blood clots that required me to be on blood thinners, and thus not able to take most standard OTC painkillers such as naproxen or ibuprofen. I had been fed hydrocodone for years with few questions asked. My problem is that I like the way they make me feel and have spent the past ten years trying to get my hands on enough to manage my pain and feed my addiction.

I believe it us by the grace of God that I have not found myself in a worse predicament than I currently find myself. I have never injected anything, but I suppose that would have been the next stop for me. I had been doctor and pharmacy shopping for years and I knew how to work the system pretty well. Even in my heyday though I wasn't able to get my hands on quite enough. I was always counting pills and worrying about when I would run out. I soon found myself "borrowing" from my mother and other friends. I found myself doing things I never imagined I'd be doing. Shameful things to feed my habit. My wife discovered my problem years ago as and threatened to leave me more than once. To lose her and my children would have devastated me. One would think that I would turn my back on the pills considering all I had to lose. But that was not enough to stop me. I guess if my wife didn't love me (a lot) she would have left me tears ago.

I was fine while on my hydros,though, but when I ran out and became sick from withdrawals, I was miserable. I felt miserable , and I was miserable to be around. I made and broke more promises than I can count to my wife, mother, and father, friends, and family.

I have had many of those moments of enlightenment where it became clear that I could no longer go on with this. There have been months at a time where I was able to stay clean. But some kind of life event always drove me back to the pills. I would have a surgery or other physical problem, or life would become so stressful that I would choose to hit the exit door and insulate myself from the world around me by delving into the world of pills.

There is another component yo my story that is important to share. In 1995 I had a bad auto accident that broke several of my bones and kept me in the hospital about a week. Worse than the physical wounds, however, I found myself battling emotional wounds. By the time I turned 22 I found myself battling terrible panic attacks that marked the beginning of my struggle with chronic depression that has lasted until now (I'm now 41). I have tried. nearly every antidepressant known to man. In the end I settled good old Prozac and Klonopin. Neither of which has done a great deal to relieve my depressive symptoms. I currently take 40 mg of Prozac and 2 mg of Klonopin in the morning and 2 mg at night. No, I have never abused Klonopin in the way I have hydrocodone. I don't feel blissful on either medication. I only notice them in their absence. I have tried to quit both and have experienced hellish withdrawals with each. My sub doctor indicated that he would like to see me come off of both quickly. I understand that taking benzos with Suboxone is a dangerous combination, but quitting cold turkey, especially with the Klonopin can be equally dangerous. He said he would like to see me off of both within six months. I don't see this happening but maybe Suboxone will allow it?

Getting to my main point. I have not been drawn to opiates because of recreational use. They were, as I've written, prescribed for physical pain. But the best aspect about opiates to me was their positive effect on the symptoms of my depression. Nothing I've taken comes close to making me feel "normal" as do opiates.

Hydrocodone, oxycodone etc... do make me feel "not depressed" but they are a kind of fools gold. My body and mind quickly build up a tolerance for them, and I find myself taking more and more to feel "not depressed". So when I started reading more and more about Suboxone, I became very interested. The medicine might be able to help me break the cycle of pill addiction, and help me as a type of antidepressant.

There seem to be two opposing camps on this issue. Some believe it is ridiculous to even consider Suboxone as a long term treatment for depression. Some might say I'm making the same mistake as I did with hydrocodone...expecting a band aid to heal a much deeper disease. There others who see Suboxone as a type of synergistic agent that might be legitimate weapon to combat depression. I can understand the viewpoints from both sides, but as for me, I'm willing to at the very least give Suboxone a few days to see how it makes me feel. I can tell you this, that I can already feel the positive effects of the Suboxone on my depression. There was an initial semi state of euphoria a couple of hours after I took my first strip, but I don't exactly feel " high". I feel rather normal capable of doing things that I would ordinarily struggle with (like typing this ridiculously long post that most people won't have the patience to read!)

I'm not sure how things will go from here. I'm not sure how I will sleep tomorrow or how I will feel with my next dose. But I will say that it feels good to have some hope. I have been worrying all summer how I would be able to gut out another year in the classroom with my raging depression and addiction cycles. I don't know how it will end, but at the end of the day it is nice to be able to look back and say that I did the right thing, that I tried to make the right choice.

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Any hints, tips for the next week. I am taking Vit B compound and Thiamine already. Nervous and anxious.

I have had Detox before and was sober for 6 months but thought i was fixed so hoped i could drink socially. I did until i went on an all inclusive holiday......huge mistake!! As soon as i got home I started drinking at home again on evenings.

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Addiction Recovery :: Norco Withdrawl

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1 1/2 at a time , not only will my back/hip pain subside, but I feel pretty "good" also. I've been known to take 2 at a time also...

I ran out and had no way of getting anymore. I found myself waking up at 5am like clockwork for the past three mornings with the "bubble guts" and having to take these weird bowl movements. Truth be told, I am not in a lot of pain. I am just anxious to get more meds to avoid having the bubble guts first thing in the morning and using the bathroom at work (which is a very small office by the way =/). I don't like the sleep deprivation either since I have a very demanding job and three kids aged 13, 8, and 4.

Bottom line is, I know I take the pills for more than the physical pain. I can admit that. I do have physical pain, but there are times where I can hold off. No other pain med will do. My body laughs at Motrin 800 and Baclofen and I am trying to find a way to get to work tomorrow with a clear head. I have Tramadol and hate it. It just makes me feel in a cloud, but not so much "good". I am seeking the "good" sensation. It's the truth. I know meds aren't good for the body, so if I'm going to take them I'd rather take the good stuff-something that will work.

I feel sort of bad for saying this as I know there are some real troopers out there who can quit cold turkey...but, as soon as I can fill my prescription (in 5 days), I will probably pick them up on my lunch break. Sad. For those of you who can quit cold turkey, I applaud you because withdrawals SUCK. I didn't mention the other symptoms: runny nose (odd), cough (something in my throat causes me to go on these brief coughing episodes), goose bumps (chills), night sweats, irritability (and feeling like a crackhead for being in this position). I can totally deal with those things, but the deal breakers for me is the insomnia and the bubble guts...I will try to taper off. Until next time.

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Addiction Recovery :: Opana To Suboxone?

I have an addiction problem with my prescribed Opana and I need some advice and help from anyone who knows about my situation.

I'm stuck in the middle between a legit need for strong pain meds and apparently a predisposition to addiction. I was on Fentanyl patches from 2005 to 2012 when I went to residential treatment for 30 days because I had been "cheeking" strips of my patches for over a year. Anyway, long story short, the plan there was to transition me from fentanyl to suboxone using Opana as a bridge med. I tried induction from Opana to sub twice and felt horrible. The day after the second attempt, the place was raided by the DEA so I chose to come home on the Opana for my pain.

Fast forward a year and a half and my pain doc has kept me on the Opana but the problem is that I've been snorting the IR for almost a year. I'm on the ER 20 mg twice a day which I take orally as directed, and I am prescribed the IR 10 mg 5 x day, those are the ones I crush and snort....10 mg - 5 times a day.

I want to stop doing this but I am so scared...I have read that Opiate withdrawal is very hard. And I wonder if the original plan to have me on Suboxone is a good one....if it will give me the pain relief I need. Does anyone know if the bupe is a good pain reliever? What about if it doesn't work well enough....I've heard that suboxone is a b**ch to come off of too!

So I told my psychiatrist (who does some addiction work) and she wants to refer me out to an addiction specialist. I've been with this psy doc for 14 years and she knows me well and how delicate my stability is. They want to do this switch in a detox center in town where I live which I am OK with if I can get my questions answered about the suboxone...and it may turn out the addiction doc (who does chronic pain as well) will want me off opiates to try and treat my fibromyalgia in other ways. I'm skeptical about that....but I digress

So. To sum it up I came to this board because I obviously am an addict. I need help getting off the Opana, which is coming...but I am scared. Terrified of the withdrawal and being left in pain. And to repeat my main questions.... does anyone know if suboxone is a good strong pain reliever? What about then being stuck on suboxone long term... is that done for pain? Sorry, I know,that's a bit off topic for these boards but I figured you here may know more about Sub.

Thanks in advance for any help. Oh...I forgot to mention....I am stalled at the moment with the new addiction doc....my psy doc called him while I was in her office and told him about me. He said I could go to the detox center but I want to have a consultation with him fist to get my questions answered...I've called his office twice in the past week to make an appointment and he hasn't called back. So I am continuing to gather info while I wait.

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Addiction Recovery :: Methadone Withdrawal

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