General Depression :: Difficulty Doing Anything


Jan 23, 2014

I am 4 months into my third depression in 30 years and this time along with all the usual symptoms there is a really debilitating problem with doing anything. This is not just demotivation but it feels physical. I will try and explain each activity is made up of individual movements so making a cup of tea involves standing up, walking to the kitchen, picking up the kettle, walking to the tap, turning the tap on, etc, etc. Well, each time one movement ends I have great difficulty moving onto the next one. There appears to be a block which takes huge amounts of willpower to overcome only to be back there again after the next movement. Often I will get so far and then give up. It has got to the point when I can spend all day unable to motivate myself to do anything because things just seem so pointless and hard work. Going to work at the moment is impossible and I am off sick but I now worry about how on earth I am going to go back. I have just been forcing myself until a couple of weeks back when I just gave up and rang in sick. After the initial relief that I could rest, the guilt kicked in and what I'd hoped would be rest is now anxiety riddled. Does anyone have any idea what on earth this troublesome symptom is? It feels like there is lubrication missing in my brain as if it's seized up. It's really horrible.

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I am having difficulty breathing in general. It feels like I am not processing the air that I breathe. Here I am going to list all of the symptoms I am feeling:

-Exercise is walking at best. If I try to do anything more than this I become at risk for feeling irregular heart palpitations and become even more out of breath.

-There are moments when I feel a little better and worse throughout the day. It is completely random but I think it might also have to do with eating. The only time I feel ok is when I am sleeping and I just wake up. Usually I lie around for a bit because it's nice to forget about it. As soon as I get up the difficulty breathing starts. If I get up just to use the bathroom at night it takes a while to stabilize after I lie back down.

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pain is like the pain you have when you have gas. It is a sharp pain I cannot move the muscles on my left chest otherwise it will feel like I'm being stabbed.

-It is common for me to be sitting doing nothing and feel strange heart palpitations which cause me to have even more difficulty breathing

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-I can't stand in one place for very long otherwise I will have considerable difficulty breathing and start to slouch, however I can get by walking.

-Sitting up straight makes it harder to breath. Slouching has helped me to get by and breath more easily.

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*1 Echocardiogram- nothing
*1 24 hour holter- nothing( I wasn't even able to

sleep within the 24 hours at any moment because I had to hold my cat who had surgery and took the whole night to recover from the anesthesia. Worst night of my life both of us suffering and nothing I could do. I left my cat with my wife when she woke up and went straight to the lab to remove the holter device.)

*Spirometry- nothing
*Laryngoscopy- Septal deviation(I've always had)
Rhinitis, pharyngitis and laryngitis

-the only day in the past 4 months that I have felt normal is the night of and day after I did the spirometry and laryngoscopy exams. I took anesthesia
in both nostrils for the laryngoscopy and 2 sprays of an inhaler for the spirometry exam. I started doing some exercises on the following morning and all
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