Obsessive Compulsive Disorder :: Fear Of Having Schizophrenia
Oct 27, 2013
*I might see a movie with people sitting in a car or a restaurant and I feel like I might be sitting there with them (I know I'm not) but I can imagine the amount of lighting in the room or objects.
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*I read a person said he felt he was slipping further out of reality, and then I got a image in my mind of my brain or head going backwards or doubling out of reality. It keeps popping up and bothering me and Im scared that every second of the day I'm slowly slipping out of sanity or getting further out of reality.
*I feel like my thinking is a cube (it's really weird). I don't know how to describe it but I was feeling really anxious and all of a sudden I got this weird sensation as if my mind was a cube (stuck, anxious, scared) I have a sensation that there is a box in my head and my mind is stuck in it, is this anxiety?
I was diagnosed with OCD but I am scared its something else because my OCD and anxiety cause really weird thoughts. Please help I don't know how much longer I can go..
Does anyone else worry they'll never be happy and carefree again? I look at other people who live normal lives (at least what it looks like) and are happy, and I'm so envious. I know everyone has their problems, but it seems like having to deal with these thoughts ALL THE TIME this is on another level. It's like you're trapped in your own mind. I am so scared I'll never be free of this.
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I just want to be happy and excited about life, and I'm so far from that. I dread having to deal with this forever. All I can think is, I have a long road of hardship ahead of me for the rest of my life, and this is how life is. No one should live like that.
I don't know if I am alone in this fear but for quite some years, I have been transfixed on the idea that I have HIV. There are good periods but then there are times when it utterly consumes me.
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I have had unprotected encounters (or should I say encounter) some years ago and that is what triggered my anxiety over the disease. During this time, I have had two full STDs tests including HIV and they both have come back negative and each were when I was out of the window period.
I guess my question is, is there a chance that I could still have HIV? Perhaps the tests were done wrong both times and I got a false-negative test back each time. Do I need to go and have another test just to confirm that I do not have the disease?
I'm 20 years old female. I remember when I was 11 years old I was absolutely scared of sleeping on my own because I thought I would get possessed or a I would see a ghost. I would get paranoid when it was getting late because I knew I would have to sleep on my own even though my brothers bed was right next to mine I was still scared and I would beg my brother to sleep with me. I would constantly be scarred and I just could sleep on my own for about 2 or 3 years where my obsession just ended. This obsession was triggered when watching a scary movie I never knew it was OCD I'm still not sure if that's the case?
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But after that I was scared of growing taller I don't know why I just didn't wanna be tall I would measure myself everyday and write letters to God and begged him that I wouldn't grow taller. This obsession lasted about a year or two.
When I was 17 I had a spot on my forehead i became depressed for some reason I would look at people's faces n compare them to mine I would google celebrities that have spots to make myself feel better I wouldn't let anyone touch my face for about a year or two even after the spot was gone.
A couple of months later for some reason I don't know if it was stress or I didn't have enough vitamins in me I started loosing hair it wasn't really bad but I got obsessed about my hair I wouldn't constantly check my hair thickness, I kept pulling them out to see how much hair has fallen out I would literally count them, I would ask my friends if this was normal or if they ever had a hair loss. Then my friends hair started falling out due to stress and I felt better I stopped obsessing about my hair they completely stopped falling out. I would still check and check and google I even started saving money up to get a hair transplant. Then my friends hair went back to normal and I started obsessing again constantly checking if my hair wa stalking out constantly pulling them out crying and just going crazy. I then had an obsession about my looks I kept comparing my hair my face to celebrities and if I saw a girl that's prettier than me I would get depressed I even hit myself for not being as pretty, j started doing exercises for my face I promised myself I would get a surgery done when I save up. I started wearing a lot of make up and would never show my face without it. I even had dreams where I felt weird because I had no make up on in public. At that time j had a boyfriend I was really obsessed about guys n the only reason I wanted to be pretty was because I wanted guys to like me and want me. I never figured out that I had OCD I have always had anxiety because j would I get really stress out when talking to strangers or even people in my class. Anyway one day I get really high smoking weed and I had a weird thought that popped into my head which was ( why am I here ) i started obsessing about my existence I was scared that I have lose my memory I would I wake up every single damn day feeling the same way with the same thoughts in my head, I kept questioning if I'm really alive or dead or if I'm in a comma and this is just a dream or my imagination. I was scared that I have lost my identity I just felt awful I had depression I just didn't wanna be alive anymore I kept obsessing n obsessing I kept asking for reassurance j kept googling always on my phone looking for answers I thought I was crazy every time I Heard people saying crazy or mental I would spike and get anxiety attacks I would get the every single morning for the past few months. I was obsessing about my hair and me being crazy at the same time I just didn't feel the same at all I couldn't feel emotions towards my family. The only emotions j could feel was towards my boyfriend I loved him with all of my heart he was my everything. After 6/7 months or maybe 8 I was doing really well I kept fearing that I was loosing my memory but I wasn't too bothered I just thought it's the thoughts that are making me feel crazy so I just ignored them as I was rok tired to fight them and analyse them. While I was going through that obsession I was at home all the time I couldn't think straight and some one mention it would be a good idea if I took my kind of it while watching porn so I did. I was sexually active at a young age. anyway I started off with straight porn then I moved onto different types of porn weird n disgusting but after I got bored of normal porn j would move on to weird things. My sex drive was really high for some reason I was constantly thinking about sex I would have sex with my boyfriend about 4/5 times a day but not everyday. I then started watching lesbian porn I don't know why I just did straight porn didn't work on my anymore I watched that and some other disgusting thing that I'm too smashed me to talk about. I was watching porn up to 5 times a day sometimes, and every night before I went to sleep. I kind of got over my obsession but then my brain was looking for something else to obsess about, when I was going through my obsession I slept with another guy I just didn't know how to cope with my brain I though if I do it maybe my obsession will just vanish and so I could take my mind of it. It worked after I realised what I have done i felt horrible I went back to my boyfriend and j couldn't stop obsessing about the fact what I have done it just wouldn't leave my mind it was there 24/7 I would Keep checking my facebook before my boyfriend woke up. Just incase that guy msged me I kind of got over it because I thought my boyfriend wasn't even there for me while I was having such a horrible time. But then my brain kept looking for something else to obsess about then I started obsessing about the fact that I have slept with more than 19 guys n I never told my boyfriend I just kept obsessing and even though I didn't wanna thing about it it was always in my head it was so annoying I was literally going crazy couldn't sleep after a few weeks I pushed the thiughts aside and j literally forgot how many people I slept with. I was still watching a lot of porn at the time, but I felt like my sex drive wasn't as strong as it was before? I then started imagining things in my head while having sex with my boyfriend they were sort if disturbing but they made me climax.... I had fantasies that I was having sex with his friend instead of my boyfriend. I would have the same fantasy before going to sleep and had dreams about that person, I still loved my boyfriend more than any nothing. But I didn't know what was going on with my sex drive.
My nephew has been diagnosed with OCD, which started about a year ago and has got steadily worse. He has to count to a certain number before taking clothes off and can sometimes put them back on to make sure he counted correctly, clothes have to be laid out just so, so dressing takes forever, he also gets stuck in rooms not able to move, it's quite frightening. His psychiatrist has put him on a pill and therapy, of which he has only had one session in 3 weeks, and his mother is paying for it!
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Surely this can't be right, what other treatments are out there, would hypnosis be any good, it's very distressing. He is 17.
I am 17 and I believe I may have this disorder. First off, I am pretty paranoid. I can't walk in public places without the fear that someone is after me. Like when I am walking from the supermarket, I always look around me cause I feel like people will kidnap me and kill me. I do this as well in school but I don't think they will kidnap me, more that they may want to just hurt me and talk about me. I hate overly crowded places. Like when im at school and it's very crowded, I basically run away. I don't eat anymore in the lunchroom, i eat in my teacher's classroom. I have had depression for over a year.
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I hear voices for sure. For a long time, I'd be studying in my room and I'd always hear the tv on and my mom talking and I'd actually believe she was downstairs. But then when I go downstairs, the tv is off and my mom is sleeping. I hear voices tell me really bad things about myself and most of the time. I utterly hate my life because I can't trust those around me, I always suspect them of having this plan to make me look pathetic in public. I have 2 really bad fears: snakes and dots (trypophobia). If i see any of these, I go beserk. I had an attack during the summer because i saw a snake while i was outside, but my dad was at work, and my mom was in her home country. It took me hours before I calmed down and run back home. I kept running around the entire neighborhood like a maniac and I always visualized the snake following me. With dots, it's a whole other story. I basically scream and just turn around. I hate dots, circles close together, all that stuff. It freaks me out. For a while, I had hallucinations that snakes came down the wall. But they were squigly, small and black. I used to look at the them but they never touched the ground, they just stayed on the wall and repeated themselves like a gif.
I have become very very very unfocused in everything, I can't complete tasks anymore and needless to say this include taking a shower before the next day of school. This is bad to add but i've had a few interests in my life and when I find myself that i like them, I become creepily addicted to them in a weird way. I start to fantasize creepy stuff and on top of that i research everything about them. I even start to follow them and i won't stop liking them after a long long long time. I always laugh at the wrong things, like death. When the subject of death comes up about a person or so, I actually have to hold myself from laughing. Or when like I see someone crying about something, I hold myself from laughing as well. I have always been afraid of people's words since I was 5. That was the first time everyone in my elementary school made fun of me. They ruined my life throughout elementary school till high school. They call me names and now I can't do anything without the fear of being judged or talked about.
I also joined a cult a few years ago (I left it after a year) that the govt. was bad and it was going get me. That made me paranoid of public places even more. I also ever since I was young believed for some reason I am special. From thinking I was secretly mermaid to believing I was a witch and I knew witchcraft to thinking im the freaking avatar and I can bend 4 elements (still think that one cause i just feel as if i have that power). So basically what I'm trying to state is that I have issues but I have no idea if they fit the Schizophrenia criteria.
My parents don't believe in mental help at all, basically if I told them any of this, they would yell at me to be normal. And they have before. So do you think the criteria fits and if it similarly does...should i just try to get help on my own? i am almost 18 and i might get a job before college and im living on campus anyway. What do you think i should do? I feel like it's getting worse and that in college i feel like one day i will go crazy and explode.
I have ocd and gad. Lately when I close my eyes I see random images like faces. It usually happens when I am waking up or laying down at night. I have a huge fear of schizophrenia. My anxiety has been horrible the past few months. Does anyone else experience this? Is it schizophrenia?
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So I've had problems with anxiety for years but the past months I've had problems with my breathing. Basically I became so obsessed over it that I started feeling like I have to take every breathe myself (manually).
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I can just about deal with all of my other anxiety symptoms except this one. It makes me feel like there's something else wrong and I'm going to die.
I mentioned it to my doctor and he said he's never heard anything like it before. I also mentioned sensorimotor OCD and he didn't really care, he said he'd look into a therapist for me. That was 8 or so weeks ago and I've still not heard, I've rang up countless times and am no further forward.
So my question is, does anyone else with anxiety have this? Does anyone suffer with sensorimotor OCD that has tips for me?
What Are The Possible Causes Of Schizophrenia?
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I'm now 26 and I've suffered with depression since I was 14. The depression started after I started have some other reality type issues. The confusions around reality, and many thee things, is what I believe lead to my depression.
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I've been on meds since last summer trying to find the right one that works.
So the reality confusions I've been experiencing...
For quite a few years now I've felt like I'm someone else, it varies as to who the someone else may be. Sometimes a famous person, sometimes a friend or family member.
I'll be sat in a room, or driving in my car, and I feel like there is a whole bunch of people who are there with me.. Sat in the room or the car.
I have full blown conversations with them, sometimes in my mind and sometimes out loud. Sometimes the conversations last for a few minutes, or sometimes it will be over an hour.
The conversations will vary, it could be about what's on TV in that moment, or a random thought that's appeared in my mind.
This is constant..
Three months ago my depression took a dive and I had a full breakdown. I'm now in a place where my psychiatrist thinks I can go back to work on 1st June, which I'm glad about.
Should I mention about my confusions around what's real/who's real.. And what/who isn't? I'm scared to do this, but wondering if I may have Schizophrenia..
I'm 23 and I've had schizophrenia and derealisation for at least 7 years but only recently diagnosed of having the disease. Can anyone tell me how long it's going to last? Has anyone recovered from the disease and what is the best treatment for it?
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I was diagnosed with Psychosis in mid 2006 which I also learned on my own that I was having Schizophrenia as well.
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My Psychiatrist put me under different medications from time to time. Now I have a different Psychiatrist and different medication as well, I am now using risperidone 2mg x2/day.
My question is "Am I still going to have a time when I won't have to use this medication anymore?"
I asked my doctor about it even before and he tells me not to worry as long as I follow his advice. But my problem here is that I have been taking medications since 2006 and every time I miss out to take my MEDs for more than 3 days - the voices in my head always start to come back, and they say I had a relapse so i have to start the process all over again.
Will I be having this medication for the rest of my life? Or will this surely end in some point in time?
I would like to know the cheapest and easiest way to get a DNA test for schizophrenia. I know that they do not know the exact makeup of all the genes that cause schizophrenia, but they do know some.
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I live in Florida.
What is the cheapest and easiest way to do this?
And while I'm at it, why not Alzheimer's and every other genetic disease?
I want a full DNA profile of all 23 chromosomes.
Some things that have happened to me (some older, some more recent) which seem like they could fit into schizophrenia. I am going to a psychiatrist soon, so I will also get a professional's opinion.
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I am also interested in which ways your thinking is different from those around you.. as I am not sure what is merely my personality and what is 'pathological'
So this is the list;
- Friend was talking, his voice gradiently silenced and a song started playing instead while his lips were still moving
- I was listening to music from another room and a song I vaguely heard maybe 2 times in my life came on, played through (lyrics, everything) and then ended. I wanted to put on another one, only to notice this one never played, in fact there was silence the whole time.
- I hear people calling me by name when they're not
- I hear people near me say things when they're silent (not sure)
- I saw a small object being thrown and disappear when touching the ground, I followed it with my look and my friends were all staring at me, shocked
- I lose vision sometimes
- I saw my room warp and my roommate grow larger
- My mentality is alien and I've been paranoid since ever
- I dropped acid and realized it's how I feel all the time; my thoughts can inflict physical pain/choking/paranoia or a very good trip, I draw same art sober or not
I've been diagnosed with OCD for 2 to 3 years now and on Zoloft. My initial fear used to be I was becoming a murderer and now it is that I'll develop schizophrenia. Im constantly paying attention to my perceptions and senses, making sure I'm not hallucinating hearing or seeing something. For awhile now I've had optical illusions where I'll see something out of the corner of my eye and think it's something else. For example, I'll see a standing object but think it's a person and then look and see it's actually just an object. I don't know if this is a sign I'm developing schizophrenia or if it's my OCD making me overthink and have anxiety.
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I am a 25 year old female. I have been diagnosed with psychosis and until recently it has become almost unmanageable. I have been getting new symptoms that make me believe things are no longer in my imagination. I don't know how to tell the difference between these voices and hallucinations anymore. I am very scared and not very hopeful that things are going to improve, since I have tried numerous medications and still no luck! I am becoming very frightened that this is consuming my life and changing my entire outlook on everyday things I used to be able to do, please someone tell me Things will get better and that I not actually trying to be overtaken by demons and evil things.
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So I've never been to a Dr about this...
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For ad long as I can remember I've heard two voices talking to each other about me. It made me really anxious and sad. I didn't really think it wasn't normal until like I was 12 and told my mom about it.
Its always been just those two until lately I started anti depressants and anti anxiety meds and they've pretty much stopped. (I'm 26 now and only been on the meds for 2 1/2 years)
I had a cat scan of my brain 4 years ago (I was 22) bc I was in a super mild car accident. Never followed up but it had said that my cerebral sulci ventricles were advanced for my age.
When googled I found it could be linked to schizophrenia.
Is it possible that I have schizophrenia but it's really mild and controlled? I know it would have come out by now..
I hate doctors and feel awkward and a hypochondriac so that's why I never followed up with anything!
is it good for two people who has schizophrenia to get marriage
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I was tapering off clozapine and my paranoia came back. I went from 300 to 250 in a week then from 250 to 200 in another week and so on until I got down to 50. When my paranoia came back, I immediately started taking 200. Should I have slowly increased my dose? After I increased it, I got a sore throat for three days and a runny nose with lots of coughing up phlegm for a week. I'm wondering if it's from the clozapine. Is it dangerous to increase clozapine like this?
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Well since i was a kid i used to have anxiety, panic attacks and i used to overthink alot.
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Before going to tell what i have im gonna tell you what type of person i am. Well if i hear that a friend of mine has a illness or someone is having a tumor i would totally believe that i have it too and sometimes i have the exact symptoms and i freak out.
But lately i have different type of thoughts. I have a daily Depersonalization including weird thoughts. I don't have delusions (i don't know if daydreaming or thinking of something you wanna be is delusion) but lately i have a buzzing in my ears and especially in the left one and read on the internet that it might be a first sign of Sz.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! i dont have the enough money to visit a therapist. And i have been checked by a neurologist nothing.
How was like when you first had a Schizophrenia ?
I wanna compare it with mine symptoms
I am off work now with depression, experiencing lack of concentration, fatigue, constant mood swings. The doctor prescribed me with antidepressants. After 2 weeks on this I felt even worse and didn't want to sleep, felt like I was in a bubble and not me anymore. I told the doctor I had voices in my head. There is a good and a bad person. He changed my meds, saying this will help with the sleep, and is referring me to a psychiatrist. Over the last few weeks I am hearing these voices all the time. I now see the voices in my head. The bad is always on the right hand side in my mind the good on the left. The bad person laughs at me and is horrible to me. The good person in my head that used to talk is even now scared of the bad voice. I was that scared the other night I put a pop up tent in the living room and slept in that. I now go in it when I feel bad. I went out the other day with my partner and I thought this man was going to get me I was petrified and want to go home to the tent. I keep thinking back to my past and if I have ever felt this bad before
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Then loads of things came into my head that I had been passing off as 'normal' that really aren't. I used to sit on my own in my room when I was younger and talk to myself and would rather do that than interact with people. I have always been an over thinker and worrier, but I just feel something really bad is happening to me now.
The voices I'm hearing are in my head but getting stronger. There are several voices in there who are constant so I can't sleep. I have headphones in to try and get away from them but they are in the songs now. I have also had three occasions where I have smelt burning plastic or rubber and nobody else can smell anything??. Also shadows are turning into things like demons at nighttime which scares me.
I am still waiting to here about my referral, and schizophrenia hasn't been brought up other than me searching for answers which brought me here today.