I'm 21, And Depressed - Made Mistakes And I Regret It
Jan 1, 2014
The fireworks went off, its new year. I've never felt so alone and depressed. I'd been thinking about my life, and I can't stand it anymore.
Is it true that there can never be a second chance in life? I made mistakes and I regret it; I want to start anew, but life just doesn't seem to work that way. When a part of your life crumbles, the rest will follow. I am a college dropout since August, and my family just gives me hell. They mock me in every chance given to them, stating how useless and helpless I am wasting my life, and everything that I do is bad, useless and stupid according to them. My friends look down on me, and many of them take joy in my condition now.
I don't know who to turn to, or who to trust anymore. Everyone just seems to be against everything I do. I don't know how to pick myself up again, since everything I do is judged. I am very very sad inside, but I can't even cry. No one will pity me.
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When your son was born did you get your son circumcised and later regretted it? Did you have another son and opted NOT to circumcise him?
I have one boy and he is circumcised, then a few days post circumcision I deeply regretted it seeing how it looked as it was healing. After 5 mos it healed, but he did experience penile adhesion which I had to gently pull the skin back over the course of 2 weeks so as not to cause him great discomfort. I felt bad for having him circumcised during that time, but after that all was well. My sister had gone through the same thing with her son, and we corrected the penile adhesion before it was completely fused. Now my dilemma is, I'm greatly concerned about going through this again if I should have another son (my gut feeling tells me I'm having a boy) and I dont want to get him circumcised, however my husband feels differently. And I told him to research the pros and cons so he can make an informed decision. Instead of just saying "it looks better".
Does anyone else have at least two boys, one who is circumcised and one who isn't?
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I would like to share with the community that unless your Bartholin cyst is a real problem in your life, don't do it. From my own experience, and from what I have read from others on forums and sites, it seems pretty safe to say that many women who have had the surgery regret it. Ladies, it is not worth the pain. Many doctors completely play down the surgery and pass it off as being minor with little pain, fast recovery.
Here is my story: I had a small to med. size cyst, not bothersome at all..it was just there. I went to my yearly exam and the doc said, let's remove that. He explained that is was a simple, common surgery. So, I went in to remove it , expecting to be able to work the next day (ha!). I was given some shots of anesthesia, and then some more, during the surgery I felt pain...was administered more shots. I became completely nervous and entered panic, pleading for something to calm me down. Well, I went through it and I noticed there was a lot of blood and the doctor asked the nurse to help me up, the doctor left the room and I was bleeding so much, like all over the place. To make a long story short, the doctor found my out in the hospital hall and rushed me into surgery again (this time they put my ass to sleep). Come to find out, there was a vein behind the cyst that got cut during the surgery. Later on through research I discovered that this could cause the need for a blood transfusion! Thank goodness I didn't. I completely regret the surgery.It's been 8 days and I still can't drive or sit with both cheeks down in a chair, I'm still walking funny and my vagina looks weird. I love to run and swim and I would NEVER EVER have done this if I had known it was this painful and debilitating. So girls, unless it is a complete necessity and it is totally ruining your life, don't do it. And for those of you who do do it, demand an ultrasound to make sure there aren't any veins behind it, its your right. A lot of veins run through this area and if the doc cuts a vein, its a bad surprise and there is a chance you would need a blood transfusion if you loose too much blood and the doctor isn't prepared. Oh, and I was prescribed tylenol with codeine for the pain every 12 hours...I ended up in the emergency room the next day so they could give me something much stronger. Today, day 8 I didn't have to take any pain meds, but I still can't work/drive/sit normal/walk normal.
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I had a Tubal Ligation about 10 months ago, when my was born. It was my decision, my husband just went along with whatever I decided. I think I decided to quick and will possibly have it reversed, but the cost is so high and there are no guarantees The problem is I don't know why I am so sad I did this. I've felt this way since they placed my newest angel in my arms. Does anyone have this feeling of Major Regret?
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I am wondering if anyone has had an elective colectomy and regretted it.
I am 27, and have had ulcerative colitis for 6 years (5 years diagnosed). I have 2 young children, work part time and study at an online university.
i have been on sulfasalazine since being diagnosed and used codeine to manage the pain during flares. While pregnant with both my children my colitis was basically non existant and other that the standard discomforts of pregnancy I felt fantastic, after each pregnancy however, my colitis has become worse.
Since the birth of my daughter 10 months ago I have been in a near constant flare. A good day for me is around 10 bowel movements, all ranging from soft to water, and very painful.
i am currently dependent on prednisone to keep my symptoms at a minimum and the codeine is no longer helping with the pain. I recently was given 6MP to try, however I had a reaction to it and am unable to continue taking it. I have been told that this limits the remaining treatment options available.
i am strongly considering having an elective total colectomy in order to rid myself of the disease for good. I want my life back, I want to be able to enjoy my children and my husband, i want to be able to give them all my time rather than being stuck in the loo or curled up in pain. I want to be able to socialise again and enjoy my work. Basically i want my life back.
Every story I have read for people who have had a colectomy wish they had done it sooner. I really want to know if anyone regrets it?
I will be seeing my dr again in a couple of week so I am keen to arm myself with as much information as possible prior to that appointment.
My husband is very supportive and agrees that it is probably be the best option for us. When i spoke to my mum about it she yelled at me about it being a stupid idea, but she doesn't see the struggle I have everyday.
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Is anyone considering having a water birth or has had one? I always said I wanted one but to actually be pregnant I don't know now. Plus my financial situation isn't what I thought it would be and now I'm using medicaid. Is it costly? What made you do it or makes you want to do it?
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I've been taking amitriptyline for about a year for chronic tension headaches and i'm convinced they have made me gain weight. I've always kept an eye on my weight and i know how it can vary from day to day, but i always remained 2 lb's either side of my ideal weight.
Since taking amitriptyline i've gained over half a stone, I even gained weight while trying to lose it! I've been eating around 1200 calories a day and still nothing!
I have asked several times at the doctors about this, and they all say that amitriptyline is not known for weight gain, but when looking on the internet it says that it is a well known fact, so i am quite confused.
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HOW IT STARTED:
Yes, I was one of those annoying people who all the teachers liked.
Once, one of my professors even told me I was one of the "golden children" of my year. I suppose I worked so hard to get good grades because all my life I had been encouraged and enabled to do my best. I was used to success. In college I even overcame my shyness and gained a lot of good friends and a handful of real, true friends who I deeply care for. I had a part-time job in my fiend that I worked between classes, and I was looking forward to continuing my upward climb to success.
So when I lost my out-of-college job because the company had a financial catastrophe that made it impossible for them to hire me, I figured, "Hey, I'll just get another job and move on with my life. No big."
But almost a year later I still didn't have a job, and because I'm inherently introverted I had lost touch with most of my friends because they were all too far away to see in person and I'm terrible at keeping up with social media. I was living at home with my parents, sleeping in the spare bed in my sisters' room, and slowly realizing that all the people who were "Looking forward to seeing me succeed in the future" were going to be direly disappointed in me.
FIRST WAVE:
New Year 2013 brought on odd feelings. I still had hope that things would improve, but they consistently didn't. I lost a few big freelance clients that I was counting on because I made a few dumb mistakes, and that made things worse. I started crying in the bathroom for "no reason," not understanding why I was feeling so down and out when I still had potential, I just wasn't living up to it yet.
Fast forward a few months and I had basically given up on myself. I believed I was a loser, someone who had let down the many people who had trusted me with their wisdom and advice. I wasn't one of the "golden children," I was a pathetic fake who couldn't even call someone on the phone without feeling incredibly anxious, much less actually interview for a job. All the confidence I'd gained in college was gone and I felt even less sure of myself than I did in high school.
It was like the "real me" got locked in a room somewhere and I couldn't find her.
My mom noticed I was moody and finally confronted me about it, but instead of helping it only made me feel like she was even more disappointed in me and fed my unconfidence even more. Then, one day, after my mom got angry at me once again for being unable to communicate my real thoughts because I was so confused myself, my dad came out and let me sit there and cry until I had composed myself enough to speak. He was calm enough to keep me relatively calm and we discovered that the depression was probably coming from a few different sources. I was feeling lonely without my friends. I was back in my childhood home and reverting to the unconfident person I used to be. I was disappointed in myself and projecting imagined feelings of disappointment from others onto myself. I never got out of the house so I felt isolated. I wasn't making a steady income and that was stressing me out. Etc.
I decided to stop freelancing full time and get a job so I could at least get out of the house, make a steady income, and be around people. But after several interviews that were just awful because I either didn't have enough qualifications for that particular job or because I was having an off day and feeling really socially awkward, I didn't get any of the jobs.
SECOND WAVE:
I revamped my hope. But then it got crushed.
I'm still not as bad as I was last year, but I'm starting to feel like randomly crying again and sometimes my skin feels like it's going to wriggle off with how much I just want to get out of my house. I'm so afraid that I'm going to delve back into self-loathing-ville again, and I know that I sabotage myself when I'm like that. I so do not want to lost this tiny bit of momentum I've achieved, but I can't make things move faster. I can't get a job any faster, I can't get a car until I have money from a job, I can't get a job sometimes because I don't already have a car, I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'm going crazy.
SO...
I know a lot of people around my age are going through things like this but for my particular situation does anyone know how to help me push through until things improve? I'm getting so tired of feeling so bad and I'm losing my energy trying to keep going. My parents are enabling me to stay home and do nothing but I don't want to stay home and do nothing! I want to get a job and be independent and have autonomy and start becoming who I used to be again so I can be a confident, awesome person! AAH!
Also, right now I'm not feeling so bad so I have a sense of humor, but in an hour or so I might be curled up in the bathroom crying into a towel so no one will hear me. I got on this forum in the first place because my skin was feeling antsy and I wanted to get away so badly and I wanted to know if other people felt the same way. Crazy mood swings, anyone?
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I'm quite young (I will be 20 next year) and I started taking almost a year ago. I was on Cipralex but in 2 months it made me gain 10kgs. It made me even more depressed and I talked to my doctor about it, he gave me Prozac. Now I am eating healthy (I am also a vegetarian) and exercising, but the weight is still here. Will I be able to lose it? (I'm taking it for a month and a few weeks now, soon 2 months) should I switch again or try staying on it?
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I'm 21 years old. I have been smoking hash/pot/cannabis/weed for a year now and I feel that it has changed me psychologically. I fell in love with the herb the first time i smoked it and started doing it regularly thinking it was harmless. Since I believe the drug made everything more interesting I started reading books, music, poetry art in an intoxicated state and enjoyed it quite a lot, particularly I made myself believe that all it did was make me more creative and smart . But without my knowing I started feeling that whether i'm sad or happy I needed to smoke pot. I started doing bad in college and messed up relationship with my friends and parents (although most of them don't know I had started smoking pot). Now I want serious help regarding this? I still believe i'm blaming the herb solely for this damage and that isn't true. But does anyone experience the same scenario? if yes how to cope with it?
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I am a 40year old woman. I have suffered from hallux rigidus for the last 6 years because of trauma.
Before surgery (which happened in april 013) I had tried all sorts of medications, injections, magneto therapy, you name it I have done it.
In April 2013 I had an osteotomy (NO cheilectomy) to correct it. After 10 months I can finally say the pain has gotten so much worse.
I can't do many things, my foot hurts even if it is not bearing my weight (not walking). Being so young I don't know what do do.
It is ruining my life, personal life (I can't go anywhere cause whenever I walk I am in so much pain) and professional life.
The doctor that operated suggested to do a cheilectomy or a fusion, but considering the result of this operation I am really scared any new intervention will make things worse.
Can anyone suggest a real expert in Europe? Or any other suggestion, I am really desperate.
Many thanks to all of you for reading my post, and thanks to anyone who would be so nice as to try and suggest someone or something.
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I have been diagnosed with an overactive Thyroid. My Dr started me on Neo-Mercazole but the medication was making me very shaky. I then went back to her and she put me onto Inderal 40. I am yet to see a specialist at the end of the month. I wanted to ask if I could take both tablets at once?
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Does this sound like how anxiety works to you? I feel like I become so afraid of the things that have made me feel scared in the past. And, of course, with anxiety, the things that have made me feel scared form a very long list.
This then is what keeps anxiety going. For example, "once I had a panic attack while waking up, now I always feel scared when getting up in the morning".
Does this sound familiar?
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So I really didn't know where or how else to express this but this seems like a good place. To be honest, I have a great life. I absolutely love my job, have amazing friends and my home life is wonderful. I'm not to happy about being a little overweight but guess what? I'm hitting the gym and have already lost 5 lbs. In the money department I'm doing okay, could always be better but I'm paying my bills and saving where I can.
Yesterday I woke up exhilarated and ready to take on the world. I had a great day at work and a good work out. This morning I woke up completely depressed and bummed out. I have no idea why this happening. I honestly have no reason to be upset or depressed yet I just wanted to crawl into a hole or be invisible all day long and just had this feeling of depressed all day long, even as I'm writing this.
This seems to happen to me a lot! Sometimes it's like the example above and sometimes it can be multiple times a day. I'll go for a couple hours feeling blessed and happy and then out of nowhere it goes away and I'm depressed and feel like I want to disappear. This can go back and forth several times in a day sometimes.
I'm not sure if I'm just nuts or if this is normal. Anyways, I figured I'd put up a post and see what you all have to say. If you're the same way, if you've gotten any good advice. Thanks for taking the time to read though.
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I have been on meds for just over a year now, tsh now down to 0.62 was 69 when diagnosed have made lifestyle changes as in reduced working hours started on 150mg then put down to 100mg now back up to 125 mg I do feel better but still get very tired and anxious about the silliest of things almost paranoid have no self confidence or sex drive (just as well I'm single) have zero interest in a social life and will make any excuse to avoid going out apart from going to work, the mother of ones of my sons friends is hypo and her gp prescribed antidepressants alongside her meds just wondered if anyone has any thoughts on this due to see GP again next week and thinking of asking if I may have a touch of depression.
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This friend I had she stayed with me and my boyfriend for a week and a half because she broke up with her boyfriend. She really hurt me badly. She told me and my boyfriend that she needed a break from her boyfriend and then she starts calling him and going back to his place to spend quality time with him. She does not keep to her word she said she was going to go out for Easter with me and my boyfriend and her young son then she changes it and says that she is going to spend Easter with her boyfriend and son. This girl does not know what she wants. She leaves him every time they fight and then she gets back together with him.
My boyfriend and i heard her say that she was back with her boyfriend so yesterday we asked her to leave
She told me all i do is tell stories which i do not and she called me a bitch.
We opened our place to this girl and her son and it hurts me so much i could not even sleep at all last night. I was crying, I was angry and hurt and this is the second time she hurt me because last year she harassed me over the phone and said verbally abusive stuff to me last year in texts messages to me to where i had to take her to court
After all that i have done and been good to her she treats me and my boyfriend like dirt and it hurts
It hurts so much The her boyfriend goes to the same mental health facility me and my boyfriend goes too and I don't want to go back there at all while he is there because he has caused me pain too and my boyfriend does not like that
I have been crying all night and just so angry i don't understand why she does this to me and my boyfriend
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I have suicidal thoughts every day, real vivid ones, I know where, when, how etc. sometimes I cry and I'm not sure why and when i start it can be hours till I've stopped completely, I don't mean all out bawling btw, just teary really, but that's the bad days most the time I feel fairly content, I can laugh and joke and go out with friends. I think I've lost my purpose in life I feel like I don't know why I'm here or what I'm meant to do but I don't feel what I imagine depression to feel like.
Throughout this though the good and bad I think of suicide every day like I said but every thought ends with me being found in time, ends with me being saved.
Do you think I need help and if so where do you go and what do you say? I'm not good at expressing myself or talking to people, none of friends or family know I feel this way. Is this normal ?
Do I just need to man up and get on with life?
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I really dont know whats wrong with me. I'm 24, have a good job and work 33 hours a week. I have a 4 yr old daughter who is at school and a partner.
I feel really down and upset most of the time. I can't shake it off. I'm miserable. Cry all the time. Have no patience. Want to be on my own. Don't want to be with my partner and been having an affair for 12 months. The littlest thing really annoy me.
all my family live close by but i rarely see them. I have a mother that chooses her wife beater of a bf over her children/grandchildren. I have a dad that i used to be really close with to now a dad that doesn't speak to me doesn't care. I need my parents support but i don't have it. I see my friends have such supportiveparentss and i just wish i had that. I know im 24 but i still need them.
I got pregnant at 19 and was not ready. My partner pretty much said he would finish it if i didn't have the baby. I had no support during or after the pregnancy. I used to cry every day of my pregnancy and every day whilst on maternity.
i gained 4 stone during that time but lost it after 1 yr on slimming world. The past 9 months i've been feeling lost and all along and slowly piled two stone bk on.
I wanna go to the docs and get help of to someone for help i can cope anymore. I thought i cud but i can't. I don't have any time for me. On my own.
My day consists of waking up getting ready and my child. Breakfast dropping to school. Start work finish work. Pick child up. Go home tidy up. Feed dog cook tea. Bath and bed for child. Cook our tea. Have a shower go to bed.
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Basically I feel like I may have had depression for a long time and not realised it. My parents divorced when I was at school and I was definitely depressed after that as I was diagnosed by a doctor, but I thought it had gone away. However recently I have been reflecting upon myself and have come to the realisation that I don't get enjoyment out of the activities that I do and the people I interact with. I have a full social life and am sure to make my schedule busy however I feel that this may be me trying to give myself something to feel happy and excited about in order to try to get myself to feel some positive emotion. I find myself not really caring much about a lot of things. For example I have always been very passionate about the environment and wanting to get a job as a conservationist however since starting university I don't really seem to care that much about it any more or about studying hard go get the grades to achieve my goal. I am tired of feeling anxious about every situation and like people are judging me all the time; I know these feelings are ridiculous but I just cannot shake them and they are interfering a lot with my ability to function as a normal person and to be myself. I am so worried about what other people think that I tend to make a mess of things which just exacerbates the problem. Also I feel quite empty inside and like I don't really know what I am about any more, which holds me back from making any meaningful connections with people as I am unsure as to how to portray myself as I don't feel like I really know who I am any more. Basically I feel like I have the potential to be much better as a person but there is something that is holding me back and I cant seem to work out what that is. I used to be an extremely expressive and eloquent person who could speak their mind but somewhere along the line I lost that and now I seem to hold myself back and am full of constant worry. I am at the point where I just need something to change as I cant stand to continue to feel like this. Also I oversleep all the time and struggle to get to sleep at any time before midnight, and I am also constantly achy and tense. I feel like I am different from my peers just in my daily life and I feel like I stand out when I used to feel like I fit in and was just like the people around me. Any advice and help would be really appreciated.
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I'm 22 years old. But i feel like I'm older. Last year they diagnosed me with hs. I had out way before that but never got it treated because i was embarrassed. I have it everywhere. I have open wounds in both armpits. I have some in the back of neck, groin and under breast. They are extremely painful. I don't even go out anymore because i tend to start smell bad due to my armpit lesions. I've also have a lymph node on the side of my neck that is worries me. Idk if it due to the open wounds that i have in my neck. I'm so embarrassed to go to the doctor again. But i see no way out. My primary doctor is useless he doesn't know about this and just send me to the ER. I'm so depressed i don't know what i can do. This wounds won't heals.
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I'm a 60 year old woman and I really cant cope with the fact that I'm old and gaining weight. I just cant stop eating chocolate and other snacks it's really hopeless...I so wish I was dead, this time a year ago I weight 10 kg less and the last year I have seen my body change so much.I wish I could lose weight.
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