Social Anxiety That I Couldn't Overcome


May 12, 2016

I'm 23 and have been an undergrad for 6 years. I was diagnosed with depression 2 years ago. I have been failing my way through these 6 terrible years and finally decided to take a 1 year break from studying.

I missed most of my classes especially those that required me to present due to social anxiety that I couldn't overcome.

I had anxiety attacks when I worked on assignments and couldn't finish many. I think it was because I was afraid of how my professors would judge my work. I know its silly because they are supposed to judge and grade your work. But I was afraid of failure so there were times I would just give up rather than try. 

I'm due to start school again this summer but I don't feel ready at all. I have had very few anxiety attacks since I stopped school but they are staring up again. Just thinking about school triggers it. I have problems sleeping again too. I think I care too much about other people's judgement of me too because I'm afraid of how my professors are going to look at me when I return to school too. I don't want to return to school but I have to because if I don't I would be wasting years of education. Not to mention the huge college debt I have to repay which I can't if I don't graduate and get a good job.

Sorry for this long rant. I'm just ranting on because there is no one I can talk to and I needed to tell someone how I feel. I hope writing this down would be enough to get this pressure of my chest so that I can fall asleep after 2 days of insomnia. If by any chance anyone reads this, do you have any advice on how I can survive 1 year of school to graduate? Any meds I can take that will miraculously solve my issues?

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