Severe Depression And Anxiety - Irrational Thoughts Are Destroying Me
Apr 28, 2016
I'll just tell you a little about myself i'm female, 23 and unemployed. Took me a while to first go to the doctors, First diagnosed with depression n anxiety at around 18. Was very low in mood, constant worrying, staying indoors not wanting to go out or do anything. Through childhood and school, college n work always had difficulty in talking about my problems, issue's bottled things up never hardly spoke about how I was feeling and fitting in, socialising, relationships, exams etc was extremely hard found myself mixing with the wrong crowd a lot. Employed Since leaving school2008 till 2014. 2014 everything went downhill my behaviour was manic, erratic, obsessive and violent highs n lows lost my job, wrote off my brand new car under the influence, lots of debt, family troubles, getting into trouble with police, stealing much more things really could go on n on. Currently and the last two years have been horrendous withdrawn myself from the world stayed in bed days, weeks, months got sectioned diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety n psychosis disgusting place if anyone can relate...In there i was on lorazepam felt amazing was discharged but they couldn't prescribe me that at home so i went back down. irrational thoughts are destroying me. I've tried most types of AD meds most of them have had no effect or made me like a zombie. Been back to see my gp last week and started again on Sertraline 50mg increased to 100mg following week and she has give me beta blockers propranolol 40mg twice daily.
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I am new to this site and have been having alot of issues as of late. About a year ago I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Even with medication I was having a hard time with life and due to this was let go from my job. I lost my medication when I lost my insurance. I began to spiral and crashed hard about a month ago. When I get depressed I become self destructive. I started drinking heavily, self harm mutilation, and had an affair with a stripper in which I received oral sex. When I sobered up a bit the guilt got to me so much I had to be hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. I am on new medication (buspar, wellbutrin xl, and remeron) but still have an issue with guilt and anxiety about the affair and possible std I may have gotten. I can't stay out of my head and still have many suicidal thoughts. I broke down and let my wife know what happened, for her part she is mad but willing to work it out. Any advice would help. Also do any of my meds cause horrible stomach cramps?
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I'm 17, I've been going through depression since about april last year. Stupidly i never got help until last week because it got really serious, i almost ended my life i constantly self-harm as it brings me a feeling i suppose?
Anyway i have been with my girlfriend since i was 16, first met her just after christmas. I bought her of loads of problems 'self-harm, low self-esteem etc.' it wasn't easy from the start because of her lod friends being bitches and she left them for me. My depression started in april when i become depressed and anxious about her leaving me because i felt inadequate as i was fro everyone i met. However we/I i got through it. Come to my birthday december 22nd.. I became ill and somehow really depressed i felt confused and unsure about my feelings for my girlfriend.. i became suicidal (btw i was this way in the months before but this was the worst case.) it came and went but for some reason since april this year stuck in my mind with my feelings for her. We argued/argue all the time about my depression or silly stuff. My summer was rubbish because of my depression. A few months ago i realised that i actually do love her. It made a little positive, we still met up in the week once and stayed almost every weekend, which i enjoy however we argued because i become down and sasd and negative and ruined everything. Fast forward to this month, she has almost broke up with me, because she can't handle my depression i almost left her a few times at the start of the year because i was so down and my mind was telling me allsorts. Anyway we are still together because we love each other and would like what happens after depression. My feelings are i worry/feel i don't like how she looks or dresses sometimes (she put weight on her face and has a double chin). My depressive thoughts were persistent and i told her i don't like her chin or hair sometimes. This created loads of problems i regret however i keep saying it. I feel like ending my life because i can't treat her this way. She is amazing and i feel i want to marry her and be the best i can for her but she deserves better and i just don't want to feel this way anymore i want everything i dream of when i'm positive.
I want to know if my thoughts are even true or irrational?
What could she do to help me?
And what can i do because i can't carry on feeling this way and lose that amazing women!
P.s I'm really sorry if it all seems weird and don't make sense i'm so upset and i didn't know to word or even make sense of what my minds doing to me. There is many things i'd like to say so please feel free to ask any questions about anything.
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I have and still do suffer from anxiety and depression. And recently have been having negative thoughts, things I shouldn't. I feel like such a terrible person because I know that's not me I couldn't hurt a fly. And I feel like i'm all alone, i'm ashamed of my own self, its worst when i'm alone it's like I get lost in my own mind and I hate it. I'm on medicine for my anxiety, and have a doctors appt coming up. Is this occurring because of my anxiety/depression? Am I the only one?
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Sometimes I think I'm going crazy. I'm not being able to even hold a job right now. This makes my self esteem goes downhill and I can't get up of my bed because I fear people.
i'm a mid 30s woman and I'm not sure what made me become so sick. I have a string of failed relationships and in one of them I suffered domestic abuse. I started dating my current boyfriend as soon as my other relationship ended and had too many problems with him but we are still together. He is an ex addict and I'm always afraid he turns back to drinking and doing drugs.
sometimes I think I'm getting insane. I have panic attacks all the time, I can't process my feelings. I tried group meditation but I became too scared of people in general I just gave up. I'm locked home for a whole month now.
im truly thinking about ending my life. I don't see a point. My whole being is taken with these bad sensations, feelings, lack of hope, lack of control, my thoughts flow uncontrollable like a river and I just can't process anything. I'm getting old and I am a huge burden to everybody.
I don't wanna die. I wanted to know if anyone went through these hard times like me and was able to live again.
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Hi. For 6 weeks I've been going downhill with severe anxiety and depression. My questions is, how many of you have really, really severe anxiety with your depression? For me it is almost the worst because I can't sleep, at all, not even during the day. So I'm on tranquilisers at night. I literally feel terrified for my life, like I'm on death row. I just can't see it getting better, because I had a major breakdown 3 years ago which took over a year to recover from and at least then I wasn't already taking medication so the docs had a range of options. Now I'm already on Lexapro (since 3 years ago) and now the tranquilizers which i hate taking but otherwise I can't sleep at all. So where to go now? I know I analyse it all too much and should just have faith but I can't. i feel like my life is over. I have a lovely son and family and feel like everything is lost. For me, this is the biggest disaster that ever could've happened to me, having another breakdown. the last one was so awful I feel like I barely got out alive. And worst of all I'm haunted my memories not only of that breakdown but of my sister who took her own life 10 years ago due to mental health problems. I'm so, so terrified that I'll end up the same. It is hell.
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I feel like depression has a hold on my life, a really tight hold, and at this point I don't know what to do anymore. Its so severe that it has affected my way of living so much. I'm not the same girl I once was. I am hurting so much on the inside, even though I have to keep a strong face on for the world to see. I think that is where my anxiety comes into play. That and my ADHD. School has always been so so hard for me. That made me severely depressed starting in middle school. I could not understand why I was so bad at math. And I got mediocre grades/gpa because of my math problems. I was in Catholic school my whole life, and having to go to public high school was very hard for me. I was not used to that environment and was bullied and picked on. I know its really not a big deal, but I was only 14-15 and it really did affect me I feel. I was bullied about how ugly I was, how short i was, I was physically bullied and had stuff thrown at me in class all the time, teachers would do nothing (in fact one teacher even made it worse and chose the side of the bullies, aka the favorites of the class, and my school therapist at the time had to defend me). I would skip class to avoid my tormentors. My anxiety worsened because of this, my parents did nothing, made me stay at the same school, and I would have to hide, in the bathroom and the library, could not even have lunch. It was so hard for me. Now that I'm in college its amazing that I don't have to worry about any of that. People are so different, but I'm so depressed about the fact how hard math still is for me, and classes in general, and the fact I have no friends at all, none whatsoever. No matter how hard I try I feel like I lost my ability to socialize with people like I used to. For fear of being made fun of. I also don't want to be left (I have abandonment issues because of my dad leaving). So i figure there is no point in getting close to someone if they are just going to hurt and leave me. I feel like such a loser, I'm in my second year of community college and I don't even know what to do. I don't know how to drive (I had a very strict mom and stepdad, they never taught me how to drive, didn't want me driving) so by the time i was 18 i just kept putting it off I guess. I don't even have a job yet. I've been looking and its so hard to find. I feel like everyone is passing me by, and it really makes me feel like the biggest loser in the world. What hurts most is no one understands how severe my depression is, my mom thinks I just don't care and am "lazy" when in fact its the complete opposite. I want nothing more than to be better and healthy so I can move out of this house. I don't know what else to say besides I want help on how to get my life back on track. I'm on meds but I still feel terrible. My psychiatrist didn't prescribe me adderall even though she saw how severe my ADHD was, and felt it was more important to treat the "depression" which is stupid, because I'm just not depressed for no reason. Things cause depression and I feel my ADHD is a big cause of my depression. Anyway I'm rambling and don't know what else to say besides I really want advice, and hope I'm not the only one in this situation. I have no one to turn to.
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Well it's 3.51pm here in glasgow we are in the middle of a heat wave and i'm lying in bed typing this in the same shorts n shirt i've had on for over a week. I cnt b bothered going out don't want to see anyone not eating anymore either breakfasts lunch hardly shower. Have no enthusiasm for anything not interested in anything. My wife got so sick of me not knowing how to have fun or want anyone up to the house she left me now has a new partner only time i'm happy is seeing my kids but i'm even struggling to be fun for them now as well. I am sick of anti depressants they do not work i have tried them all and given them time to work if it wasn't for my 3 kids i wouldn't be writing this just now. I a have no qualifications haven't worked in over 7 years right now almost every night i just cry and cry. Ppl tell you you need to just get out their i look fat and ugly and cant hold a conversation i have no friends except my 3 kids who i try as hard as possible to hide this horrible depression from. They are the only 1 thing that i got right in my life. And i feel so so selfish knowing theirs homeless ppl and babies dying in foreign countries and i am whinging about this i just feel like if i died i would have about 3 or r 4 ppl at my funeral because i push everyone away. I have a poisoned brain its all negative thinking all the time i try to turn it into positives but cant. My emotions are everywhere just now 1 min i'm just numb ext min im at tears like i nearly am writing this i just want to enjoy life i am 32 years old I dnt even have any skills like how to play an instrument or anything are my kids going to think their dad's a loser? Its the only thing i'm good at is bringing up my kids and the love they give to me is the only thing that keeps me hangin in their. Im gonna stop now i'm just upsetting myself more.
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I'm 23 years old and I'm healthy. So they tell me but I suffer from extreme anxiety, hypochondria and depression for going on 6 years. Im at my breaking point. It completely controls and ruins my everyday life.
Lately, my whole life has been a whole anxiety attack. From the moment I wake up until I go to sleep. My life doesn't feel like it is a reality. I live in a fog. My heart races all day leaving me exhausted, I suffer from aches and pains and I always think of the impending doom that is coming to me in the coming seconds. Since I also suffer from hypochondria these things do not go well together. Anytime I feel brain fog or these feelings of Unreality I tell myself I have a brain tumor and I'm surely dying. Any pains it's a tumor or a blood clot. I convince myself that I'm dying and it causes anxiety. It's a never ending cycle and as of late has caused me to become very depressed. I can't even go to work in fear of an attack. The only time I feel safe is at home in my bed or when I'm asleep. I left work today on the verge of a mental breakdown. On the verge of admitting myself into the hospital. I am on an antidepressant every day and it doesn't seem to be doing its job. My depression is killing me. Does anyone else feel this way? I don't know much longer I can continue living this way.
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I take Citalopram for anxiety/depression. This year I have had 2 chest infections that needed treating and was given Clarithromycin, 500mg twice a day. The latest chest infection was recently and I stopped taking the antibiotics 5 days ago. I have had some awful symptoms that I don't know what has caused. Shaking, increased anxiety and depression, loss of appetite, twitching muscles and weakness in legs. Balance problems. Heart Palpitations. Now I am having difficulty walking and it is really scaring me. I seem to remember having these side effects when I took these before but not so severe.
I would love to hear from anyone who has had a reaction like this and how long was it before you felt better.
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I've recently upped my dosage of paroxetine to 30 mg following the doctor's advice. I'm on day 6 of 30 mg and wondered how long it would take for me to get back to "normal". I was in 20mg but it suddenly stopped working 3 1/2 months ago and I had a suicidal episode. Since then I have been living in fear and am constantly in edge. I am a single mum to a 16m girl and I just want to get back to normal and be a good mum. Please help if anyone has any experience of upping their dosage!
I am scared of being on my own in case I have another episode like the one 3 months ago where I had to be taken to hospital. It was very traumatic and has ruined my life. I know I don't want to kill myself, I wouldn't do that to my daughter or family, I just get strong waves sometimes and feel exceptionally low. I know this has occurred because of a mess up of my medication, when weaning me off the tablets, the doctor I'll advised me to cut them in half. I now know this was a stupid thing to do. I just wondered how long it will take me to even out or if I'm ever going to get back to " normal"
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I am currently severely anxious about everything even things that haven't happened or may never happen i am suffering from really tight feelings in my throat like around my voice box is this caused by the anxiety? I can't help thinking i may have cancer i worry constantly it's driving me crazy.
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i had an assessment after struggling with depression and anxiety for yrs , finally went back on ADs just before xmas, after trying sertraline , mirtazapine i'm now on venlafaxine , over the last 6 weeks it's increased to 225mg. My assessment came out with a high score in the range of severe depression and anxiety . I have previously had time off work due to this , however i'm doing my best to stay at work as i'm only p/t and work with some fab ppl . However i feel like everything is getting too much again , i had gp last wk and i just said all was ok , it wasn't but my child was in the room so couldn't speak , Also had my first cbt session today a ' panic workshop ' one , even with them discussing panic attacks makes me feel edgy and haven't been able to shake the feeling off since , i feel like i'm fighting a losing battle and just cant cope. So much has gone on recently , 7yr relationship breakdown / ended . Problems with child behavior , time off work last yr for an op that didn't go to plan ( should of been day surgery - 3 days in hospital , 7.5 wks off work ) moving house , family disagreements ( not to do with me but get dragged in ) Just so much - i don't know what to do , i feel like a whinge if i go back to gp again.
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i am a 31 year old male who was recently diagnosed with asthma.
i was prescribed ventolin (8 puffs daily as required) & flovent (250 mcg, twice daily).
i've been using flovent twice daily for almost two weeks now (not even using ventolin now) - and i've developed waves of severe anxiety and worse, severe depression. this behavior is totally unlike me and is very, very scary. stupidly it never occurred to me until today to read up on flovent, or that it might be the cause. well, it seems i'm not the only one. i had no idea that inhaled steroids could do this? i was told by my pharmacist that inhaled corticosteroids are completely harmless outside of maybe some minor anxiety, small weight gain or even thrush (if i weren't to rinse/spit). small potatoes, i thought. now i'm a complete freaking mess. i can deal with the anxiety episodes - but the severe depression is too scary.
thing is, this drug has worked magic on my breathing. & i know that all preventive inhalers are corticosteroid based - so i really only have 2 options : stay on and suffer the psychological effects (or worse)...or go off and suffer major asthma attacks which put me in the hospital (or worse) what a reality.
anyone else have to deal with this?
could i just take a single puff in the morning and still protect myself?
could i go back to the clinic and get a smaller dose and still be able to keep attacks at bay?
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I having been a cannabis smoker since the age of 15, I feel compelled to write my comments here and hope someone learns a little if not a lot! I am now 31 and stopped smoking cannabis 7 weeks ago - I have been an habitual smoker for 16 years. I always thought (in my ignorance) that the drug helped to 'calm' me that it gave me a more 'peaceful' life when in actual fact it stopped me from relating to others, helped me to disconnect and run away from myself. As a teenager (late teens) even my parents used to say that it stopped me from being so 'fiery'! But as the years have rolled on and the cannabis became a bigger part of my life it became the one thing for me to rely on, my friend and it would never fail to be there for me. From the age of 17 I was smoking it everyday and would struggle to have a day without it. In the mornings I would always still be 'stoned' from the night before and was rolling a 'joint' for breakfast which would turn into to up to 10 or so 'joints' per day. As I reached my early 20's (looking back now I understand - I didn't at the time) cannabis was the biggest part of my life and was ruining every part of me. Being a successful human being was not part of my agenda, getting 'stoned' was the most important thing. At the age of 18 i started going to 'raves' and started taking ecstasy, cocaine, amphetamines and various others, but never heroin....that frightened me! Drugs were a bigger part of my life than anything else, I have always managed to hold down a job and had good jobs, often managerial positions and I worked hard. Life went on like this until I hit 26 and felt that life had finally caught up with me - I felt suicidal and very depressed (obviously wasn't blaming the drugs!) life was all too much for me and I didn't know which way to turn. My relationship with my parents had deteriorated so badly and they didn't understand, so I went to the doctors to ask for help. I was prescribed the antidepressants that she had been trying to prescribe to me for the past 2 years and I didn't want to take them, but felt that I had no option. I guess they did help to numb me and to stop the deep depressive states, but now I was on prescribed drugs and still smoking enormous amounts of 'pot'. Six months later I was not in any better space and my father's comment of 'you need professional help' got me thinking maybe he was right. I found a private psychotherapist that advertised in my doctor's surgery and have now been in therapy for nearly five years and it was the best thing I have ever done for myself. She has helped me to understand the 'why's' that I never could have found for myself - I have just finished a two year college course and will be starting another one in September - I am a 'drug addict' and always will be.....after 7 weeks of not smoking 'pot' I have clarity in my life again. I don't feel paranoid, edgy, vacant, detached or different.....it has been hard and yes, I have smoked through my college course and I feel sure that it would have come easier to me had I not smoked. I also now understand that I smoked it to escape unhappy memories of my childhood - therapy has helped me to discuss, deal with and understand that unhappy little girl that turned to drugs because she was lost and sad - I have spent nearly £10,000 pounds (which has been hard money to find, but I have done it on my own) on my therapy and finally I can see a light at the end of the tunnel - I feel good about myself, I have great relationships with my friends and in the last 7 weeks life is not so scary and I don't feel the need to get 'stoned' to be able to cope. I am sure I still have a journey to travel and some days I have felt a little low and had the urge to get 'stoned' but know that there is so much to embrace about life that I don't want to keep squashing myself - I no longer want to be insignificant, I have so much to give to the world! I guess that sounds a little 'cheesy' but I am embracing life with both hands and trying hard to hold on - it's hard but very empowering. In my opinion cannabis use is so very harmful....its so misunderstood and I believe it is as harmful as alcohol....I do mean taken on a daily basis to excess. I am currently watching one of my closest friends go through a 'hell' of a time - she too has been smoking since we were in school and she smokes 'weed/grass' only. She suffers with serious paranoia, recently lost her job and is generally detached from the world - she sadly will not go into therapy and also takes a high dosage of anti depressants, I cannot help her, she can only help herself and she is well aware that the cannabis holds her back, clouds her life, stops her relating and generally makes her life a misery - I love her and can do nothing to help her she has to want to help herself. I am fortunate for being able to embrace my deepest and innermost fears, anxieties and what made me turn to drugs for escapism. When I look around me, anyone I know that smokes cannabis doesn't have a great life, they don't live life to their fullest potential, they don't relate to friends, family and society in general as others that do not smoke do. This is a powerful drug and believe me when I say it is addictive, because I struggle (a little less every day) daily...... I now want a drug free life, that is so important to me, for all the years I have held myself back I now want to soar - I'm scared of being successful which is why I smoked 'pot' but I will go back to college in september and I will pass my next course and I will become successful in my chosen career and cannabis will not be a part of that.
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Has anyone had good results with Strattera, my doctor prescribed this for me approx. 3 weeks ago. I suffer from severe anxiety, social phobia and dysthymia.
We have tried various anti-depressants. The only one that really worked was serzone. Then it was taken off the market.
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Hi everyone, I'm new here and I've decided to post here because I don't know where to turn. I've been feeling suicidal because I have no social life, I'm behind in school and I switched to a charter school so that I could graduate faster but this only made my situation worse. On the first day of school I went to my class and I felt so overwhelmed by the amount of people in one class. After school I went crying to the principal because I knew that my social anxiety was never going to leave me alone no matter how much I tried. So she helped me by putting me in a small office with another teacher and another girl who has Social anxiety too but she rarely ever comes to school.
Today, I was alone all day because both the teacher and the other student didn't come. I felt so alone and I couldn't concentrate on my packets (school work) which is pretty typical because I've been having problems focusing in school since last school year. I told another staff member if I could stay home and do my work instead of coming to school because I just didn't like being alone and I couldn't concentrate but she said I couldn't do that because I had to come to school so that they get paid. Honestly I don't know what to do. I can't drop out of school , there are no online school services in my area, and I don't wanna go back to a regular public school because having 8 different classes a day was a nightmare to me last year.
My parents already know of my problems but they can't help me. Honestly I don't wanna go to school tomorrow because I'm just feeling so depressed and I can't take it anymore. my dad thinks I'm procrastinating. Honestly, he doesn't understand exactly how I feel. I feel like the whole world is falling on me and I feel like I'm never going to succeed in life, which is one of the things my dad himself told me.
I don't know what to do or where to turn to. I can't dropout of high school or take online school and I can't get medical help because my parents don't have health care.
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Came off Lexapro 40 mg bout week and a half ago and have been on prozac 20mg for 2.5 weeks. Dr upped it today to 40 mg.
First week and a half on prozac 20mg i felt agitated and really really anxious...panicky often...racing thoughts, felt like i was going crazy.
But this morning just woke up totally depressed..cried all day pretty much, no motivation, huge brainfog, extremely tired, low concentration, not interested in doing anything- not enough concentration to do anything. Don't feel like eating.
I am wondering if it is too low dose after coming off Lexapro 40 mg...or maybe it just hasn't kicked in yet all....can anyone, from their own experience, shed some light on this....i am feeling completely lost!
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I've got a 3 year old son and since he was born I've suffered with depression, anxiety, health anxiety and PTSD. I'm just at the end of my degree which is stressful but it is for everyone. For the past 6 months or so (since my relationship ended with my son's dad) I've had the worst health anxiety and it's completely taken over my life.
I'm constantly going to the doctors or the hospital and panicking only to find that they don't really take me seriously anymore which just makes everything worse.
My symptoms from the past few months include.. pelvic pain, bleeding between periods, dizziness, palpitations, loss of appetite, IBS like symptoms whenever I do eat, which has in turn caused weight loss, insomnia, hot/cold flashes, and so many more. Basically, I just feel ill all the time and obviously I've convinced myself I've got cervical cancer and many other types of cancer.
My doctor keeps telling me that I am very stressed and this is a normal response, but it doesn't help and I'm driving myself mad worrying that there's something seriously wrong with me and I'm going to leave my son without a mum.
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i have a lot of self harm thoughts and i wish they would go away. i tried to kill myself before 3 times. i got help and it's been gone for a while and it's come back and i want it gone.
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At least i can admit that. Im suicidal. I have suicidal thoughts. I cut myself but not so i bleed just so it hurts. I've been suicidal since i was younger but not its worse. I isolate myself a lot. I'm never truly happy. I feel useless, unloved, hated ect. I'm sad a lot but pretend like nothing is wrong so i dont have to hear 5 or more speeches 20 minutes -1 hour long from my family to be treated the same way again in 3 weeks. Or be asked what's wrong only to lie. I don't have any true friends and no one will listen without giving me useless advice. So im pretty much here to ask if there's any online therapist sites that anyone can direct me to. I don't want my family to know. They found out once and it was like living in hell. They thought i was crazy, "helped", lied to me, treated me like i was mentally ill. It wasn't fun and i can't tell them the real reason i want to do it so that was fun. So if anyone can help me. Please don't say tell your mom because she can't and won't help, talk to the counselor at your school because all she did was made me cry for two hours straight, don't do it because i've heard that from friends, teachers, family and on here way too many times anything like that. I have trust issues so that's why I'm asking for online... It's easier for me.
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