Experiencing negative thoughts, paranoid thoughts, and extreme anxiousness where I am focusing on dumb things. Do I stop taking it? I don't have a follow up doct apt for another 5 weeks
View 5 RepliesI'm 17 and been suicidal for five years, i want to die all the time, preoccupation with suicidal thoughts has affected everything like my studies a sudden plummet in my academic score and physical health too, i only weigh 39 kg n im 5"3 tall girl. I want to die all the times i don't want to live Is this normal?
View 1 RepliesSometimes I think I'm going crazy. I'm not being able to even hold a job right now. This makes my self esteem goes downhill and I can't get up of my bed because I fear people.
i'm a mid 30s woman and I'm not sure what made me become so sick. I have a string of failed relationships and in one of them I suffered domestic abuse. I started dating my current boyfriend as soon as my other relationship ended and had too many problems with him but we are still together. He is an ex addict and I'm always afraid he turns back to drinking and doing drugs.
sometimes I think I'm getting insane. I have panic attacks all the time, I can't process my feelings. I tried group meditation but I became too scared of people in general I just gave up. I'm locked home for a whole month now.
im truly thinking about ending my life. I don't see a point. My whole being is taken with these bad sensations, feelings, lack of hope, lack of control, my thoughts flow uncontrollable like a river and I just can't process anything. I'm getting old and I am a huge burden to everybody.
I don't wanna die. I wanted to know if anyone went through these hard times like me and was able to live again.
I am on a serious suicide path. I can't think straight. all I have are negative thoughts flowing through my head. I sitting here with a knife about to cut myself because there's no other way I can relive the pain. I don't know what I need right now. I need help I know that. I need a friend. I don't have friends. I have not a single person in my life that understands me in any way possible. I just want someone to listen and not criticize me. Or judge me. I am so tired of being judged. My head hurts so bad right now... everything hurts. There isn't anyone I can talk to...no one cares. Just someone please please help me before I do something dangerous to myself that can't be fixed. I don't want to hear a single "I'm sorry_______" because I know your not.
View 4 RepliesI am new to this site and have been having alot of issues as of late. About a year ago I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Even with medication I was having a hard time with life and due to this was let go from my job. I lost my medication when I lost my insurance. I began to spiral and crashed hard about a month ago. When I get depressed I become self destructive. I started drinking heavily, self harm mutilation, and had an affair with a stripper in which I received oral sex. When I sobered up a bit the guilt got to me so much I had to be hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. I am on new medication (buspar, wellbutrin xl, and remeron) but still have an issue with guilt and anxiety about the affair and possible std I may have gotten. I can't stay out of my head and still have many suicidal thoughts. I broke down and let my wife know what happened, for her part she is mad but willing to work it out. Any advice would help. Also do any of my meds cause horrible stomach cramps?
View 1 RepliesI have and still do suffer from anxiety and depression. And recently have been having negative thoughts, things I shouldn't. I feel like such a terrible person because I know that's not me I couldn't hurt a fly. And I feel like i'm all alone, i'm ashamed of my own self, its worst when i'm alone it's like I get lost in my own mind and I hate it. I'm on medicine for my anxiety, and have a doctors appt coming up. Is this occurring because of my anxiety/depression? Am I the only one?
View 2 RepliesDoes anyone know if Sertraline causes negative thoughts or is it because of my anxiety it just i'm not as depressed as before but can't get rid of these negative thoughts and I think it's that what's making me feel down been on 5g for 5 weeks then 100mg for a week
View 18 RepliesI've been on 20mg for 16 weeks and upped to 30mg 3 weeks ago every morning I wake up I have high anxiety and negative thoughts this seems to ward off about 5pm has anyone had this problem and will it get better with time.
View 6 RepliesOk, so just a short introduction about myself. I'm currently 25, I'm a male with chinese ethnicity. My nickname is Jas. I came from a pretty well-off family (enough to get me my needs and some of my wants) . I have a couple of caring but overprotective parents. I went through my entire "going-to-school" life with them. I graduated with a decent course and was successful in getting my professional licence. Life was really great that time for me, but i think I only felt that way because I was naive back then.
Anyway... As soon as I started working, I left home for good. I went into a different city and started to become an independent person. I was around 21-ish that time. This is when I became conscious of my behaviours and holes within myself. I think, a big part of this is due to me staying with my parents for a very long time, which probably delayed my maturity, but hey, let's not live in the past. Let's focus on what we have right now.
So when I started to become conscious with my own movements, I looked for ways to improve myself - I spent long hours in a day to reflect how my day went, how i behaved in front of other people, etc... When I started, it was really bad - i didn't know how to carry myself in public, people would most often laugh at me. One thing i noticed also is that I craved for attention - I was needy. I didn't know how to construct my thoughts properly. I didn't even know how to know what I feel for a certain scenario. I was really bad that time, trust me... If i write all of them here, this will be a VERY LONG list. Oh well, that was the past. But over time, I was able to get some of the negative traits out. I gained more control over myself now. But there are some that I can't get out:
1. Negative intrusive thoughts - thoughts of people laughing at me... thoughts of people bullying me. It's one that keeps on going my head OVER and OVER again. I have read some of the forums and took the advise to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. yeah it sure helped, but when i'm under pressure, i just lose control of myself. For example, one of the things i'm interested with is music... singing.. playing musical instruments. I could very well do those stuff if i'm alone, but if i'm in front of several people, thoughts like people laughing at me creeps into my mind, then i lose control with myself. I don't know why, but I'm so overwhelmed with my emotions, that I lose control of myself completely.
2. Social anxiety - Back then, I was really afraid of people. I don't know what to do in social gatherings (i was the one who sits in the corner and eats cheese). Soon, of course, i had to face my fear and had to start talking with people. I think i found some success in it. Although, my biggest problem right now i think is approaching groups. it's like i feel fear even before i do anything. I think my reasoning also break down quite easily when i'm under pressure (like for unexpected circumstances/responses...).
For the past 3 months I have thoughts of death and dying, almost everyday I feel a choking feeling around my throat and neck area and I keep thinking that I would suffocate. It's gotten to the point where I panic on a daily basis thinking that I'm going to die.
View 2 RepliesI have had anxiety issues since I was a kid but this last year or two has been the worst it's ever been for me. I find myself always reverting back to my negative thinking ways. I haven't seen a therapist or a professional because frankly I can't afford it and I always end up chickening out when I do find a somewhat affordable place.
I've been researching alot about different anxiety disorders and I'm most relatable to that of OCD and I definitely feel I have depression as well. I'm sorry if my post is a little excessive but I find that even writing it all down, gives me some relief of all the stress I feel. I would really love any feedback and any type of help you could all give me.
I am constantly making myself feel like I'm a bad person. I have a lot of negative thoughts running through my mind on a daily basis. I will bring up bad memories from the past of things that I did wrong or when I had made bad judgements. It's really hard for me to try and move on from past mistakes. I am always saying in my head, "I should of did this" and "why didn't I do that instead." I beat myself up over things I can't change. I notice that anytime there is something that is going good for me, I will find reasons why I don't deserve it or why I'm not worthy of having it in my life.
I also have panic attacks when driving alone. I always worry that I hit someone or something and didn't realize it or notice. I turn the radio down real low so that I can hear every noise just in case. I get so nervous and worried that I will check my car a bunch of times just to see if there's any type of damage or difference. I think the worst if I feel a bump or hear any type of ding.
I think the biggest thing that triggers my anxiety disorder is my fear of how people perceive me to be. I really need reassurance from others in order to feel like I'm doing things right or that I'm a good person. Everything I do or say in front of people, I analyze. I try and figure out what they are thinking and how they are judging me. I just want everyone To like me and think I'm a good person. I try to relate to everyone so that they have a positive view of me. I am always in fear of people getting the wrong idea or misinterpreting something I said and in doing so, they think I'm a terrible person.
I also get really stressed out whenever I go into stores because I get worried that the people working there will think me or the person I'm with is trying to shoplift. I will as far as buying something I don't even really want just so that they don't think I went there just to steal something.
When leaving the house, I go over everything in my head and if I'm not sure whether I locked, shut or turned something off before I left, I worry the entire time something will happen to my dogs while I'm away because of it. Like if I don't make it apparent that I checked all candles were blown out, then I will just worry that my house will burn down with my dogs in it......
All throughout my life I have had good opportunities that I have thrown away because of how I felt at the time, jobs, women, holidays etc etc I threw them all away because of my negative thoughts and self doubts... And its here again, i think!
I currently have a job that is very comfortable, money is good, not too far away from home and its easy to do... Its just boring as hell! Today I spent 2 hours doing nothing at all, and that's not me, Im not that type of person. Sure I kick back for half an hour after a busy spell but I actually like to be busy.
Anyway, I have been offered another job by my old boss. We get on great and its a very interesting, challenging job also the same money.
So whats the problem? The new job is three times further away than my current job which is still only 24 miles in total. I was up for the challenge this morning and very positive about it but as the day has gone on I have worn myself out with worry. I cant seem to shake the fact that, in my mind, its just too far away. It will be a 52 mile round trip and about an hours commute.
All I can think is that it is too far, will cost too much and that I will end up fed up and depressed. I will be all anxious at home etc etc and then have to quit and let down my boss and probably ruin our friendship.
I know there is an element of thinking over a new job and is it worth it but why can't I think of all the good things about it.
I have done this so many times in my life and end up not following through with things because it makes me worry too much. Like its safer to stay bored than challenge myself. I don't know what to do!
Over the past 3 years I've practically shut myself out of every social situation I can think of, not because of fear but because I'd rather be playing video games. Over the course of those 3 years I've lost all my friends and postponed school, work, and relationships. Coming to this point where I realize what I've done I became anxious, no friends, no one to talk to, no school, and practically no life. I'm not sure what to do at this point. When I leave my home i'm always alone with nobody to talk to and it makes me really self conscious, I'm always worried about what people think of me and when people laugh or smile around me I assume it's because of something to do with me, I feel like I no longer have the social skills I use to, I remember always being easily able to talk to anybody and be social and enjoy my time with whoever I meet and make sure to leave a great impression but now no matter who I talk to I just feel like a huge loser who is just wasting their time or just someone who they'll talk to their friends and laugh about later over something I said or did. Aside from that, I get anxious thinking to much considering the fact that I have no one to talk to I just think about nonsense, things that never happened like horrible images in my head that just make me uncomfortable and just worsen my anxiety and make it harder to do anything at all and I just find myself stuck on these ridiculous ideas and things that could potentially happen to me when I know full well they wont and never have but I still feel like I'm purposely torturing myself with things that just aren't true and I cannot figure out why.
Right now I've got another month to wait before I begin school again and hopefully start getting my life back together and In the meantime i have picked up some sports but I really feel like I am just so lost and afraid and I have no idea what to do, whenever i go out to do anything i'm just worried anxious and it heavily impairs whatever I try to do and makes it harder because I'm afraid of looking foolish.
Okay so, I'm 20. Um okay so, i keep having thoughts about my ex.. Me and him have been in a very toxic relationship for years since high school and I feel as though it was just so toxic that it didn't allow us to grow or to really be who we truly are.. But.. Yeah we weren't together anymore and all he wants now is just sex from me.. And I'm so attached I dream about him with other girls and I constantly think about the arguments we had things he has said things I have said just constantly playing back things and now I'm starting to talk to myself like I my head I'm starting to be nicer to myself and allowing those thoughts to just come and go and I am constantly forgiving myself and telling myself that I cannot control any of those situations and I tell myself that or worrying and overthinking will not resolve anything but just makes matters worse... And I have repetitive thoughts about anything that I feel so insecure about, I've started praying and asking God to help me.. Is there anything else I can do? I've also started meditating I don't do much like I just started getting back into school consistently everything that I do is inconstant. Everything so I'm starting to be better at things
View 1 RepliesI have suicidal thoughts every day, real vivid ones, I know where, when, how etc. sometimes I cry and I'm not sure why and when i start it can be hours till I've stopped completely, I don't mean all out bawling btw, just teary really, but that's the bad days most the time I feel fairly content, I can laugh and joke and go out with friends. I think I've lost my purpose in life I feel like I don't know why I'm here or what I'm meant to do but I don't feel what I imagine depression to feel like.
Throughout this though the good and bad I think of suicide every day like I said but every thought ends with me being found in time, ends with me being saved.
Do you think I need help and if so where do you go and what do you say? I'm not good at expressing myself or talking to people, none of friends or family know I feel this way. Is this normal ?
Do I just need to man up and get on with life?
At least i can admit that. Im suicidal. I have suicidal thoughts. I cut myself but not so i bleed just so it hurts. I've been suicidal since i was younger but not its worse. I isolate myself a lot. I'm never truly happy. I feel useless, unloved, hated ect. I'm sad a lot but pretend like nothing is wrong so i dont have to hear 5 or more speeches 20 minutes -1 hour long from my family to be treated the same way again in 3 weeks. Or be asked what's wrong only to lie. I don't have any true friends and no one will listen without giving me useless advice. So im pretty much here to ask if there's any online therapist sites that anyone can direct me to. I don't want my family to know. They found out once and it was like living in hell. They thought i was crazy, "helped", lied to me, treated me like i was mentally ill. It wasn't fun and i can't tell them the real reason i want to do it so that was fun. So if anyone can help me. Please don't say tell your mom because she can't and won't help, talk to the counselor at your school because all she did was made me cry for two hours straight, don't do it because i've heard that from friends, teachers, family and on here way too many times anything like that. I have trust issues so that's why I'm asking for online... It's easier for me.
View 11 RepliesI'm 19 and was diagnosed with anxiety and panic attacks about 3 weeks ago and i got prescribed klonopin. anyways a week after i was diagnosed with depression i started feeling very down and not myself like i didn't even want to get up from bed or take showers or go out i just layed there and cried most of the time and had suicidal thoughts. so i finally decided to see a doctor and was diagnosed with depression and given fluoxetine 20mg i been on it for about 4 days, but this medicine is making me feel really out of it and for the past two days i have woken up feeling very agitated and fidgety and sometimes i don't even feel like myself i've heard this is called depersonalization and it feels awful i also feel like i've gotten more angrier with the medication, things annoy me more easily. sometimes i just sit there and i just wanna scream. overall i think my anxiety has gone away its just the depression now and it sucks i just wanna feel like myself again and i'm scared i never will.
View 2 RepliesMy doctor wants me to take Gabapentin for some disc fragments giving me pain in my back. I'm worried because the side effects say that the side effects are depression or suicidal thoughts. Has anyone ever had these type of side effects or problems in general with this drug? Did it help them with their back pain!
View 11 RepliesI have ptsd following severe septic shock in 2013 with no memory of being in ICU for 5 days and then Sudden cardiac arrest 2 times this year, Now have pacemaker. Do not sleep well, startle at slightest noise, become agitated or angry at slightest provocation ,occasionally suicidal thoughts. What can I do ? No one seems to understand.
View 11 RepliesI have been on 30mg Mirt for over 3 years. It helped me sleep and all was fine. BUT I have put on 2 stone and cannot lose it. I went to my GP in June and asked how to come off it. He said to halve my dose for 2 weeks and if I felt ok to stop altogether. This I did. It was a disaster. Panic attacks, insomnia and suicidal thoughts. I Went right back on to my original dose and took a good month to stabilise.
In September I decided to try again, slowly. A new GP said that I was obviously unusually sensitive to this drug as she had never known anyone have a problem before.
Since then I have v gradually reduced down a quarter of a tablet every so often. About 4 weeks ago I was down to 7.5mg/day. I then started dropping off the tablets altogether. I am now on 7.5mg 4 nights a week.
I feel terrible. I was ok until the last 4 weeks. I feel shaky, hungover and nauseous all the time. I can't sleep and the nausea makes it worse. I have noticed that 4 days after dropping a dose I get terrible debilitating stomach cramps and a fearsome headache. This lasts for 24 hours and then leaves me with background nausea etc.
I would welcome advice as to whether to just keep on dropping the 7.5mg relatively quickly (every 2 or 3 weeks or so), or to wait until this awful state passes and then drop another and start feeling ill all over again. I just want it over with asap, but have to continue to work full time.
I've been trying to get off this awful little tablet.
Basically suffered anxiety from a young age now 32. Started getting ocd negative thoughts over a year ago. It scared been at first it was all my worst fears playing tricks with me. So docs put me on mirtazapine as i really don't like taking any meds, I take the odd pain killer but other than that I try not to take anything. I especially didn't want to take AD. But with pressure from folk around me and docs recommend advice they suggested it was best I try mirtazapine as I suffer from anxiety disorder. It was causing me to not want to go out to certain places etc.. Anyway its been over a year now and by far the worst of my life. I only started on 15mg as it blew my hair off, literally couldn't function and ended up bed bound due to feeling so all over. Anyway after a couple of weeks it eased and I started getting out more and felt more positive maybe it's placebo Effect, no idea it's all just been a blur. I suffer from a vertigo( balance disorder) it pops up now and again so I know sometimes I have to rest, but it's the worst thing when your an over thinker. Anyway I've been back and forth to the docs and getting no where, some say up the mirtazapine some say they think am best off not being on Ad. I'm currently waiting for my Cbt. I've tried since Dec to reduce off these awful tablets as I'm convinced they are not doing anything other than making me crave foods at night and sleep qnd have weird dreams. I wake up feeling so hung over