Post-Traumatic Stress? Losing My Mind

Mar 27, 2014

I think I am losing my mind. I am a 37 year old female firefighter married to a firefighter. I have been doing this type of work for nearly 18 years. This morning, I got my 3 older kids off to school and came in and started reading the news. Long story short, I heard mayday calls from Boston's 9 alarm fire and I think I had a panic attack from there. I had problems hearing initially, everything sounded like it was far away. I was cold, chattering teeth shortly after, then I threw up. It has been a downhill spiral since. My husband thinks this is all related to a ceiling collapse I went through in November. He think PTSD is at play. But I really have never felt any anxiety over that after getting out. So I'm not sure. I don't know what to do but every minute is longer then the last and I feel fear that is making it hard to breathe. I don't know what to do.

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Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder? After Sexual Assault

I am too scared to ask my psychologist about this, i have been having flashbacks for a long time now of sexual assault when i was much younger (ages 3 to 5 most likely). they can be triggered by events or come out of nowhere. i am feeling a bit better now, but for about a month it felt like i was having non-stop back-to-back panic attacks because of this.

i can remember the event but i still have a lot of doubt and feel like my mind is tricking me into thinking that it's real. i've told my psychologist, but i don't want to right out ask if this is ptsd. i really just want something to call this.

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Post-Traumatic Stress? Variety Of Torture And Abuse

The first twenty years of my life had a variety of chronic torture & abuse. As a child my home life constantly shifted and alcohol, physical and mental violence was the order of the day. I felt wholly unworthy as a person to be alive. It drove me into drug addiction for eight years. Within the first year, the dealer and his friends cornered me into the back of his shop and raped me, protracting the incident over three days. My addiction exploded and it forced me into dealing with the rapist for a length of time after the incident occurred. I did not develop PTSD at the time, my drug addiction was becoming life threatening and I spent the next twelve years in and out of rehab until I finally one day carved out a functional routine for myself. Life became better, I worked in a shop, got creatively involved and got married (Although I was never able to fall pregnant). Years later we decided to immigrate to Australia. My husband collided with the culture from day one. Within a short period of time he became manic. We had just given everything up and returning back would be security suicide I felt, so I found work, moved us out. My husband tormented me for the next two years until it exploded one afternoon with police coming to arrest him. In the last days of my time in Australia I worked abnormally long hours to pay migration costs, as I wouldn't be able to, once returning to South Africa in an unemployed state.

Landing back in S.A I was hit with the chronic diabetic condition of my mother, who had not gone to one doctor about her condition. I dug in to get her health back to a manageable level for almost a year before I found employment and finally moved out. The nightmare began then. After a court order against my now ex-husband, I landed in a strange town, with new work, where no-one knew me.

Nightmares began to pour into my sleep about the rape that happened over twenty years ago. Functionality levels became dangerously low. I sought help, but without any real finances I was thrown into a system of waiting and small bits of attention here and there. Being alone also didn't help. I had already lost my first job, after flashes bled into my waking hours. A friend came from Australia, three years after my landing back here and saw my condition. These episodes have already taken on a form of torture that has made me terrified to talk about them. Somehow one of the men who raped me, detached themselves into a character that would invade my mind throughout the day and talk to me, telling me of new ways to torture me, that I will never be okay again, that I will always be stuck here. My friend is adamant about me leaving work and seeking help...I am terrified that I will be put away into an institution.

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Post-Traumatic Stress :: Hydroxyzine For Anxiety And Prazosin For Nightmares

After years of trying to deal with this on my own I finally got help with a diagnosis of PTSD. I was prescribed Hydroxyzine for anxiety and Prazosin for nightmares. I have not taken either yet as I am wary of taking anything...even when the doctor says it will help. Has anyone tried either of these medications?

My trauma stems from very violent situations a few years ago that are so difficult to talk about I can barely breathe when I even try and get the words out of my mouth. It has left lasting scars both physical and mental that seem a daily reminder or like having a giant necklace of rocks hung around my neck constantly pulling me down.

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Do I Have Post-Traumatic Stress? Tired, Mentally And Emotionally Drained

I feel like I'm on the outside of everything. I don't feel much of anything, most of the time, and I always just want to be alone because I feel I have to pretend in front of other people. I've been through awful things during my life, the most recent being the loss of two beloved pets within 4 months of each other. Yes, I consider their passing to be awful. I've been through cancer, abuse, abandonment, etc. My earliest memory is witnessing my mother being beaten by my father.

I'm not a miserable, unhappy person, normally. Lately, I just haven't been able to feel or care about much. I'm tired. Mentally and emotionally drained. I have zero energy for other people, which saddens me deeply. Often, all I want is to be left alone to stare at the wall or bury myself under the covers.

Maybe it's depression, but the reason I suspect some kind of PTSD is because my brain feels as though there's a block that prevents me from processing any new experiences. I don't know how to explain's like wanting to run from the room, covering my ears with my hands to keep from hearing any bad news or having to deal with anything unpleasant.

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Difference Between PTSD And Complex-PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)

I was recently diagnosed with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The difference between C-ptsd and PTSD is that Complex happens over an extended period of time, and usually originates in childhood. Whereas PTSD is typically a one-time traumatic event (such as rape, war, etc).

After spending my entire life in pain, confusion, and emotionally abusive relationships, I finally have an answer. While it is a big relief, the process of recovery is not easy. I feel like there are two versions of me: The chameleon who has put on a good act and adapted for the sake of everyone else, and the real me, who has been hidden all these years. I'm just now starting to get to know the real me.

This is a relatively new diagnosis, and it didn't make it into the new DSM, but I read where someone said that Complex PTSD is at the core of a great many mental health issues.

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Depression :: Feel Like Losing My Mind

My depression has taken a strange turn recently, whereby I am convinced that something or someone is controlling my emotions and making me say and do stuff i don't want to. I was on the phone to a friend earlier, telling her that I think this. But, as I was saying it, my insides felt really weird and angry, like whatever it is that's controlling me is giving me a sign to shut up.

I feel really angry with myself, and I feel like my mind and thoughts are all jumbled, I was just wondering if anybody has experienced anything similar, and tell me i'm not going crazy?

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Eating Disorders :: Food And Weight Is Always On My Mind

People say I do but the last couple days maybe a week I have been eating normally, still haven't my weight and exercising but I've been eating, but now I will go back to cutting down because I have so much...

I can't stand my weight, I hate having showers because I can see how fat I am, i once cried in the shower because of my weight,i know stupid, but it happened. I do eat but no more than 1,000 calories or just a tiny bit over and that's a bad day, I like to keep it down to under 900 but I have had a week of eating because I was so hungry but nothing more than the calories I should be eating for my age. I am very tired of always counting calories worry about food, when I have to pick my tea in the night I am there for ages trying to work out what to eat and the calories I do eat junk food but still nothing more than 1,000 calories, we barely had fruit or veg here so I do eat 'bad' foods. Food and weight is always on my mind, it's starting to affect me in school,I think if I'm gunna est in school and it's all the time. I am actually sick of it now but I can't stop, my kind tells me I'm fat but I don't no if it's a voice or me saying it to myself, I am giving up on myself because I think this is going to be my life, I don't see a future in me not worrying and fearing of gaining weight, it has taking me mentally you could say. I hate seeing really skinny people because Ino I'm not like that and it kills me, I worry about clothes fitting me if I have to try something in in front if someone. I am a 16 year old girl, 5'2 and 99pounds I've lost 10 pounds since Nov I had a week of eating and went up to 103 pounds I was just disgusted with myself.

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Depression :: After Smoking Weed With A Blank Mind

So it's been five consecutive days since I've been feeling like this after smoking some weed with my friend. I've lost all interest in activities and stuff and I'm feeling completely numb and without any emotions. I can't think at all unless i force myself and that night i even experienced some sort of depersonalization/derealization , it was like i wasn't me anymore and I didn't exist , It was just like i wasn't inside my body and it was so scary.Even know i can feel the consequences of it because I'm so afraid that I'm not gonna be able to function right and continue with my life.These five days I'm living in a complete nightmare and i don't know what to do anymore , please someone help me or atleast give me some hope that I'll be able to "live" again. 

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Mind-body Techniques :: How To Stop Cracking Your Knuckles?

Well since I was about 16 I've been cracking my knuckles (nearly 10 years) although I've noticed the last couple of years it's been quite a lot more frequent.

I started when a friend of mine (at the time) used to do it all the time and I was curious as to why/how he did it and well it's been around ever since.

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Anxiety / Panic Attacks - Mind Going To Explode Due To Thoughts

I'm 17 years old, I'm absolutely going mad, my anxiety is going to make me crazy, i only think, and think and think, feeling like my mind is going to explode. Feeling that I'm living a dream, not my real life, And i'm absolutely scared of going crazy, I want to get back to normal, and be me. Since last year i started facing panic attacks and anxiety, I faced all kind of anxiety and moved on, but this kind, I can't. I've seen my doc, did everything, my buddy is absolutely fine, having my medications, that it usually helps, but nothing is getting better. Please if anyone faced this kind of things.

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Anxiety :: Insomnia - Eyes Refuse To Relax And Mind Racing

I am suffering insomnia for almost a week now due to anxiety and constant worrying. It might be better if i describe my experience. Here goes: Everytime I go to sleep, it feels that my eyes refuses itself to relax even though i close it. My mind is still racing. I've always tried to calm myself before sleeping. Sometimes I managed to fall and keep myself asleep but not for a long time and sometimes it is accompanied by weird vivid dreams (sometimes it's pretty creepy), then I woke up in the middle of the night finding it hard to fall asleep again, and if I do, these dreams keep bugging me again followed by waking myself up. My sleep pattern is always like that and It's so frustrating because I always woke up feeling unrefreshed and nervous. I'm always anxious about myself falling asleep like that every night.

Do someone experience the same things that I did? As long as possible, I'm planning to deal with it the natural way. I consider taking up meds as a last resort. Is there a natural way to restore my sleep pattern? Any advice? I'm totally suffering from it. And it makes me more anxious that sleep deprivation might affect my health.

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Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy :: Opana Helpng Pain But Destroying My Mind?

I am at the end of my rope!!!!!! I have crps following botched surgery almost 5 years ago. I was on percocet for the first 2.5 years until a new pm doc told me it was bad for my liver and changed me to opana - 5 mg, 3 times a day with oxymorphone 5 mg times a day for breakthrough pain. About a yr and a half ago I developed horrible anxiety which has stayed with me since. The doc said maybe the new formulation didn't agree with me but made no changes. I wake up from sleep in the morning screaming and crying, so agitated. The pain docs don't care as long as your pain is under control. the doc added methadone at my last appt to curb the anxiety in the mornings but I'm to scared to take it. I've read it's more addictive than all of them. I don't function anymore, don't leave the house, cry several times a day. Has anyone experienced this? I feel insane and these docs don't seem to care. Last year I went to a psychiatrist and spent the entire year trying every anti-depressant int the book but none worked. They just raised my anxiety. I really think it's these pills.

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Mirtazapine :: Losing Weight When You Come Off It?

I have been on Mirtazapine for 20 months. When I first started at the 15mg dose, in a month I gained a stone. Then dieted and lost it. I have never had a problem losing weight over the years by eating a healthy diet. Usually losing 2 stone in 3 months, Now on 30mg of mirtazapine, was on 45mg but had unusual highs so it got reduced. Since September 2012 I have gone from 10 stone to 14 stone 9 and I have dieted in between with not much luck. I dieted for 4 months and lost 4 pounds and I was eating so healthily and almost suffering. Due to being a victim of crime 6 weeks ago I come off the diet due to stress.I cannot control the hunger and cravings. i binge to the extreme between 10pm and 2am, I even eat in my sleep.

What worries me though is even on a diet I cannot lose the weight. And as I say, in the past I have lost weight when eating healthily no problem.

My doctor wants to start reducing my mirtazapine in January as I am on too much medication. I am worried about coming off it as I have gone through anti depressant withdrawal before, actually paroxetine withdrawal is the reason why I am on mirtazapine, Plus for my height and now weight I am obese so that is the other reason he wants to take me off it.

I just wondered if anyone has had weight gain and if they have lost it when they stopped mirtazapine?

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Changes To Expect After After Losing My Virginity?

I am gonna loose my virginity in very few days to my boyfriend. Can somebody tell me about the changes that i will face after losing it and i have read that after loosing virginity there is a problem of period delays and breast and hips become larger than before and there is a lot of bleeding... is this true? and one more question please is it okay to lose virgin during periods ?

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A Lot Of Discharge After Losing Virginity?

I had sex for the first time a week before my period and I had heavy brown discharge the whole time and now It's my first real period day and I'm having a light period but I was on birth control for a month and a half. Should I be worried or is this normal?

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Eating Disorders :: All I Think About Is Losing Weight

I know I can't be diagnosed through this, but I'm starting to wonder. All I think about is losing weight, I restrict myself all the time- consuming between 0-500 calories, I take 3-4 laxatives a day and exercise as much as I can...

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Swollen Clitoris After Losing Virginity

I am 16 years old and two days ago I lost my virginity. When I got home I saw that my clitoris had swollen up, it's not very big, it's about the size of a pea maybe smaller. There's no colour change and it's only painful when I squeeze it. It just makes me feel self concious and I am scared to have sex with my boyfriend again incase it's painful or if he finds this off putting. I was just wondering if you had any idea what it was and even how I could get rid of it?

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Few Days Of Bleeding After Losing My Virginity ?

I'm 18 years old and before a few days we tried to have sex with my boyfriend.Just when he got nearly in he noticed I was bleeding and we didn't continue further more.I started bleeding since that moments and 4 days after. After a week we were trying again but just when we was starting I began bleeding again but this time It felt like my periods and lasted 5 days.The color of the blood was just like periods but I can't go to the doctor and I'm afraid if it's something wrong with me.

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Losing Virginity Delays Your Period?

Recently, my boyfriend and i lost our virginities to each other. Last Friday to be exact. It was 30 seconds long, and he did NOT ejaculate. Then, we had sex again that following Monday. Twice actually. And he did ejaculate. BUT, each and every time he was wearing a condom. And the second time we did it Monday, he put on a new condom instead of going back in with the Semen filled condom. I was supposed to get my period Tuesday. It is now Saturday. My period is 4 days late. I told my mom, and she told me to quit fretting if i used a condom. And that it will come. However, i can't help but be TERRIFIED. Because, sex is sex. And that's how you get pregnant. I've been reading online about periods being late after your first time because it is a change to your body? Is this true? I also have been stressing a lot. Which i know can also delay your period. I am not on the pill. The only birth control we had used were the condoms.

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Orlistat :: Weight Gain Instead Of Losing

i'v been on the tablets for a month now and instead of losing weight i've actually gained doing everything right..i mean i haven't had chocolate or takeaways or even low fat crisps for the last month

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